First meeting with SW and VAAs

[sugarfeather2]

Hi ! Out first meeting with SW is in a few weeks, so, we are looking for legacies and advices (especially for stress ^^).

Also, we think that VAAs could match with our ethics, so we want to know if someone here has adopted with a VAA, (especially in London)

Have a good day !

[UnderTheNameOfSanders]

@redressgirl Instead of spamming everyone else's threads, why don't you start your own and people will try to have a respectful discussion with you about your views. You can maybe explain the background to them and we can go from there?

I could say more, but will leave it to your thread should you care to make one.

[sugarfeather2]

@redressgirl to be honnest, it's a true fear for us, and that's why we are asking about VAAs.
But I agree with @UnderTheNameOfSanders ; you should make tout on thread.

[UnderTheNameOfSanders]

@sugarfeather2 My view is that whilst mistakes may be made, in general SS have enough on their plate dealing with children who are being neglected / abused for them to be trying to increase their caseload taking in children who can be cared for within the birth family.

This isn't like the 70s where some parents were coerced into giving up babies for social reasons.

[Ted27]

@sugarfeather2
All looked after children are the legal responsibilty of a local authority, VAs do not ‘have’ a separate set of children. LAs will usually try and place a child within their own pool of adopters first, but their are plenty of reasons why a child may be placed via a VA.
I adopted with a VA, there was no one within the LA pool who expressed an interest in adopting him.

Despite what some people would have you believe, SWs do not roam the streets looking for children to meet some ficticious government target for adoption. Unless there is an absolute emergency, Children are removed because of court orders, and the threshold is very high

[sugarfeather2]

@Ted27 Thanks you very much !

Can we talk in PM ?

[Ted27]

@sugarfeather2

yes fine, no problem

[onlytherain]

Have a look at Coram and Family Futures.

Always ask for the post-adoption support they offer. If they answer "that will be provided by the LA", look elsewhere.

Good luck!

[sugarfeather2]

Thanks you for your advices @onlytherain ; does Coram work with London prospective adopters ? did you adopted with them ?

[onlytherain]

Yes, Coram works with London adopters. They are excellent!

[WittyUsername123]

Hi!
We adopted through the LA within the last year; I would caution that in the current climate around adoption, VA adopters are finding it difficult to be matched because there are a lot of adopters currently approved and waiting for matches nationally. That is just what I have heard through friends and acquaintances through various support groups.

I’m a bit confused about what you say about VA and your ethics; apologies if I misunderstood, but just to be clear- VAs don’t deal with voluntarily relinquished
children solely or mainly- there are very few relinquished children at all in the UK.

Good luck with your journey!

[sugarfeather2]

@WittyUsername123 I think I expressed myself badly : We feel more comfortable with "familial spirit" of VAAs

to be honnest, it's also because of our project ; we want to adopt a child over 5, maybe in a sibling group, so it could be more "realistic" with a VAA.

But for now, I think we should focus on assessment process. Do you want to talk about it in PM.

[Chocapple]

@sugarfeather2 good luck with everything .

I just wanted to very very kindly say be incredinly careful about the language you use in respect of adoption - especially with Social Workers.

You appear to have referenced adoption as 'our project'. Adoption is in no way a project.

Atm yes there are (and in some places considerably) more approved Adopters than children waiting for an adoptive family.

An LA will look to place 'their' children from their own LA and failing that within their Regional Adoption Agency (RAA). An RAA is made up of several neighbouring LA's. If the above two things aren't successful the LA will look further afield.

Apparently atm there are considerably fewer children are on Linkmaker compared to a couple of years ago. The ones that are tend to be older children, sibling sets, children with additional needs.

[sunshineandskyscrapers]

I also found the word 'project' quite jarring, but I suspect OP's first language is not English and they probably meant 'plan', which sounds a thousand times more reasonable.

[sugarfeather2]

Thanks for advices @Chocapple and @sunshineandskyscrapers ; yes, I grew up between French and English, and sometimes (especially when I'm writing quickly), I Can use wrong words.

I'm gonna bé careful about it

[sugarfeather2]

Update (if anyone is interested) : we met social workers a few weeks ago, and fortunately they were really kind and helpful. Now, our adoption journey officially starts !

Thanks to everybody here ! 😁

[Torvy]

Its really nice to have an update, thank you!

Just out of interest, if you don't mind me asking, did you end up choosing LA or VAA?

[sugarfeather2]

You're welcome ! ^^

We choosed VAA.

And you, is your son fine ?

[Italiangreyhound]

"we met social workers a few weeks ago, and fortunately they were really kind and helpful. Now, our adoption journey officially starts !"

Great news.