Advice please, regarding letterbox

[user1497873278]

we have had constant problems with the yearly letter box, BM has been repeatedly asked to write appropriately but continues to ignore this request. This years letter was so emotive, manipulative and full of lies, that cafcas called first, I said I would not accept it, and was told they would ask for a revised letter, only to get a typed copy of original letter with some pieces missing. Do I have to send a letter? we are considering stopping, is there any legal obligations. We have spoken to cafcas many times and they say they have told her but she ignores them, I must add that the letters have been insulting to us, using derogatory terms, it’s upsetting, especially as these letters are held in her file, really appreciate any advice.

Hi @user1497873278

I think you are well within your rights to refuse to accept letters from here. I wouldn't accept them. If you do contine to receive them via cafcas or SW, I would just bin them, don't even open them. It's very unlikely that she will change.

Whether you continue to write is a separate issue. I've never had letterbox but I know some adopters who write just to be able to show the children in later years that they did try and any lack of communication is not their fault.
So you might want to consider the most basic of updated.
I'm not saying I think you should, just something to consider.

Thank you so much, just needed to hear someone else’s perspective, exactly what I was thinking of doing, but always worry about later implications. My daughter is such a kind, gentle, caring little girl, it all just feels very overwhelming sometimes, I hope she is never exposed to this vile person, we were told in the process of adopting her, that it would be in her best interest not to seek out her birth parents, without saying to much, neither are safe around children, anyway I’m grateful, thank you, don’t have anyone that understands, how worrying it can be.

there is no legal requirement for you to write letters and frankly after reading your post, i really wouldn't bother