Step parent adoption - HELP

[RCH643]

Hello will try to keep this short but basically I was abused (physically and mentally) by a narcissist for 2 months and ended up pregnant. Had a restraining order against him and have never seen him since - he's not on birth certificate. Later found out that he's a sex offender and was on the register. Me and an ex reconnected when I was pregnant and have been together ever since and DS is 4 now, obviously my partner is his dad and that's all he's ever known. I also found out that the narcissistic ex has been in trouble with the police and had to re sign the sex offenders register for crimes against children - vile. Basically we want to go ahead with step parent adoption but I was wondering if I could bypass the needing the consent of birth 'father' due to being on the register? The thought of him being asked for permission makes my skin crawl and I know for a fact he would say no. I'm also afraid this would reopen him wanting contact due to trying to gain sympathy from his family/control over me. If anyone has any advice I would really appreciate it! Thank you

[Ted27]

Hi @RCH643
You really need to contact your local authority adoption team about this.

I'm not sure how much flexibility there is in the process, but they will advise

[xshelbix]

Hi, I am currently going through the exact same thing so I'm glad I came across your post. I am married and have been with my husband for 8 years. My (our) daughter is 14 and like your child my daughter sees him as her Dad. Her biological sperm donor was violent and narcissistic and like you I feel like he would just say no to spite me and keep that control. He's never had contact with my daughter, he's never paid a penny and he isn't on the birth certificate so doesn't have PR. My local authority have said he still needs to be contacted as that court would want to see an attempt made but there are circumstances where they will make the ruling without permission. I have told the local authority that I will not be making contact due to fear. I'm waiting for my next appointment to discuss it further so I'm happy to keep on this thread and let you know what they say? X