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Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Just found out I have a sister who was adopted

7 replies

FoFanta · 04/06/2023 10:45

So in the last couple of weeks, my Dad has found out that he has another daughter. He had a brief fling with her Mum many years ago (was married with 2 young kids at the time). Her Mum went back to her own country and she was adopted as a baby. She tracked him down via extended family on one of those DNA websites. She has known her birth mum since her young adulthood and has had a good life, where she was loved and cared for very much.

Her and Dad have exchanged some emails, and he has told us. He is pretty shocked (he is the only one shocked - he has been a fairly poor husband for most of my parents marriage - but that's their business). He isn't evil - he's just selfish and immature. Anyway, that's not the point.

The point is that I really want to get in touch with this woman and I hope that we can form some sort of friendship. I don't want to freak her out or scare her off, but I want her to know that she is warmly welcomed by her half siblings. I have found her Facebook profile - would I be overstepping to send her a friend request and a message?

OP posts:
Successstory82 · 04/06/2023 10:47

She tracked him down

she is obviously keen or curious to know her family so yes - I’d message

Successstory82 · 04/06/2023 10:48

Or ask her father to ask her if she’d be happy with you contacting her

FoFanta · 04/06/2023 10:57

Dad is going to tell her that we would like to contact her but I am too impatient to wait. And because she has done all this work to track him down, I would like her to know that we are excited to meet her.b

OP posts:
Successstory82 · 04/06/2023 10:58

Surely your dad asking her… will take all of a minute. He drops a message to ask!!

Successstory82 · 04/06/2023 11:00

FoFanta · 04/06/2023 10:57

Dad is going to tell her that we would like to contact her but I am too impatient to wait. And because she has done all this work to track him down, I would like her to know that we are excited to meet her.b

Well don’t say you’re invited to meet her as that’s assuming you will.

it would appear she’s keen given she tracked your dad down. But always go gently gently. And slowly

FoFanta · 04/06/2023 11:07

Thanks for all your advise. We won't be meeting anytime soon as she lives in another country. I will temper my enthusiasm! Obviously, it is up to her how much or how little she wants to get to know us all. I'll wait until Dad speaks to her and she says whether she wants contact or not.

OP posts:
Look289 · 12/06/2023 20:32

Hello.

im unsure of how to post but I have been following this thread.

myself and my brother conducted a sibling after family doubts we did a test via alphabiolabs the likelihood came back as 57 million more times likely that we are full siblings rather than half siblings.

does this likelihood seem like a good likelihood? I am so nervous about being happy incase it’s incorrect.

thank you so much for reading

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