First home visit

[NickD87]

Hello!
we have our first home visit tomorrow with our social worker who seems absolutely lovely. I think we’ll really get along and she gives off this wonderful supportive energy.
I’ve started on the reading (nearly finished the first book she gave us) and been immersing myself in the podcasts and other resources she sent us. All good!
My husband and I keep a really neat tidy home. But today we decided to go around and make a list of possible things that would need changing if a child comes. The list is HUGE. It’s suddenly panicked me.
We’ll mention this to the social worker, but we’re worried they might come and be like “lots of things a child can knock over or bang their head on…” and it might work against us. Is that silly?
They don’t expect the house to be child-ready at week one of stage 2 do they?! A bit nervous now.
Maybe the list will be good to show as it shows we are actively aware and being mindful?
Please let me know if I’m being over dramatic!

No, our social worker was totally unconcerned about all of that. At some point they will want to go through it all and come up with a list of things you need to do, but you won't be expected to have done all but the most major things at this stage.

Major things - for example we have to put some decking in our garden for safety reasons. So these are things which will cost a lot and involve getting professionals to come and sort things. If any of those type need doing I would get on it. But things like putting locks on cupboards can wait.

Hi @NickD87

in my vast experience 😄its entirely normal and natural to worry about all sorts of weird and wonderful things when social workers enter your life.
No your house doesnt need to be child ready at this point, I wouldnt mention it to be honest. If your SW comments on something you can just say yes we have a big list - that shows you are aware and on the case.

You should however aquaint yourself with ACS, a condition which afflicts many adopters at some point.
Adoption Cleaning Syndrome results in hapless prospective adopters becoming obsessed with cleaning and a desire to maintain the highest state of domestic godliness possible when a social worker visit is imminent.
Then, when you your child comes home and you might be finding things a bit hard, you get irritating old hands like me saying lower your standards, no child was ever harmed by a bit of dust and yes its ok to feed them chicken nuggets if that’s all they will eat.
I adopted an older child, my transition to post ASC was remarkably swift when I realised after two days that I would never win the battle against peas and lego on the floor. He is 18 now. He still drops peas on the floor but thankfully the lego days are over.
Good luck - you will be fine

Adoption Cleaning Syndrome results in hapless prospective adopters becoming obsessed with cleaning and a desire to maintain the highest state of domestic godliness possible when a social worker visit is imminent.

This is absolutely a thing, I’m a social worker and have seen homes in states you wouldn’t believe and I still found myself dusting the blinds before a home visit! My kids then arrived with a mountain of plastic tiny toys and 5 years later I’m just beginning to see my floor coverings again. As long as the home is reasonably tidy it’ll be fine.

Also don’t fall victim to the associated condition SWBS, social worker biscuit syndrome - I don’t think my social worker ever ate one of the carefully selected biscuits (nice but not too extravagant lest they thought I would feed my child a steady diet of chocolate biscuits).

In terms of safety, they will go through safety checks/measures with you as part of the process, thinking about the age and stage of children you’re interested in. If you think about it, it would be odd if an adult without children lived in a child proofed home, there’s no expectation at this stage that you’ll have done that. They’ll mention it when it’s time, until then relax in your lovely home.

Good luck for your home visit.

ACS?! I think I’m already affected!

Our house is always pretty clean to be fair and I tend to give it a once over daily. But I’ve done two ‘big cleans’ this week and I’ll do another manic one tomorrow no doubt! Haha.

Our social worker has already said she doesn’t do hot drinks or biscuits….but it didn’t stop us buying some treats anyway JUST in case.

Thank you guys for giving me a giggle on the ACS and SWBS. It’s actually very much calmed me!

Our social worker has already said she doesn’t do hot drinks or biscuits….but it didn’t stop us buying some treats anyway JUST in case.

The process is so crazy-making, the one time you don’t have biscuits in the social worker will mention running about all day and not having time for lunch and you’ll find yourself apologising as you offer a crusty old digestive, while wondering if you’ve blown your chances at parenthood because you didn’t have an emergency Kit Kat in the cupboard. Or that might just be me 🤷‍♀️

@NickD87 @Jellycatspyjamas I almost bought a frigging tassimo machine and velvitiser just in case.
My poor fella had to talk me out of us buying half the bakery from Costco.
Even though we weren't successful the sw did say she felt very welcomed and accommodated for in our home 😂

Good luck OP! X

@NickD87 hope it all goes well. I remember feeling panic stricken when I was talking to sw and saw finger prints on the window. I paused the meeting, ran and got window cleaner,
cleaned it and sat back down, relieved! Sw just laughed and said that will be the least of your worries for when child arrives and she was right! At matching, we were told to scatter some toys around so we looked more child friendly (we already had a child) because it was too tidy! Oh those days are well and truly behind me! Wish I could afford a cleaner now…