Adoption

[josyjose]

Hi there me and my partner thinking of adopting. What is the average wait in UK for under 2. As that's the age we would love to have.

Hi,
We are about to go to matching panel and very nervous about it all. We are second guessing everything including the fact we have high bmis although we’ve not put on any weight since we were approved 6 months or so ago.
We’ve been told the questions will mostly go to the social workers. Can anyone tell us what to expect please? Losing sleep over the thought of being rejected. 😔

@Adoptionhope You might be better off starting your own thread, but never mind.

If you are rejected then the social workers won't have done their job properly. They are the ones putting forward the case for why you are the best available parents for the child/children in question.

If you are worried about BMI and asked about it, how would you answer? yes you are aware, and are looking forward to the pull of being active with the child / modelling a healthy lifestyle / eating?

Best wishes.

Thanks Sanders.

Apologies I’m new here. We have made steps to be more active and can evidence it - provided it all. Just can’t help but be worried as otherwise our suitability is super tight. We’ve also met the little one and so close now…
Thank you once again. Will figure out how to create a new post. 😀

In answer to your question on BMI. Mine was high and I was encouraged to lose weight. I did lose some. Children are hard work and they want adoptive parents to be up to the job but (possibly most significantly) to have a long life as children in care have already lost so much.

My son lost birth parent's then foster parents and many also lose siblings/grandparents etc.

So having a fit enough parent is import. Having said that I am still overweight and being overweight did not stop me adopting.

@josyjose that BMI point was for you.

Interns of money. Start saving now. Kids are expensive. It's not normal to get any adoption allowance.

It might be worth thinking about why you haven't managed to save. We sent a lot in fertility treatment before adoption but still had some money for a rainy day. We were lucky we both worked and my mum helped us. It is not easy but not impossible.

@Adoptionhope try not to worry keep losing a d keep a record. Good luck.

Trying to start a new thread but could not find the way. We ve adopted. Two children, full siblings from a family with a history of domestic violence, sexual grooming, incest, rape with in the family. My beautiful child, an adult now, has reconnected with birth family and step parents of said family. And I am now the "other mother". My husband, her dad, is the 'other father ' and the birth parents and their partners are now Mum and Dad and their family. This connection is less than a year old. Our child has borderline personality disorder and because they are an adult we cannot attend. My heart is broken. Shall I just accept it?

@Deedeedoe
I am sorry you're going through this. You would be much better starting your own thread. You're right it is very tricky to find the option to do it. If you go to the top of this thread, you'll see: Talk > Adoption, and then a little downward arrow. If you click on that little arrow, there's an option to add a new thread.

@Deedeedoe you can ask Mumsnet to start a new thread for you.

I think if you report your post and ask them to move it to a bee thread they will.