BM Contesting

[BaldingMum]

Hi all

I've name changed for this one just for confidentiality.

LO been home for many months now, and has thrived more than anyone could have hoped or imagined. She is an absolute fire cracker and has settled into her home, and forged amazing relationships with us and all our nearest and dearest. It's like she's always been here!

Thanks to Covid backlog, our court date has been delayed and delayed. We do now finally have a date in February for our final hearing, however BP is planning to request to contest.

The level of anxiety and stress this is causing is horrific. I feel physically sick constantly catastrophising the outcome. My work is suffering. I'm struggling to sleep.

Best case scenario, we're delayed getting the AO again. Worst case scenario doesn't bare thinking about. It would destroy LO (and us, but we're collateral).

SW's are great, but they can't provide any reassurance on where this goes, although in their opinion they cannot see how BP would evidence change in circumstances.

Someone please come and tell me this will be ok. I can't find any information on how common occurrence this is, or how often contests are approved, and subsequently successful. I know it's a case by case basis, but I feel completely blind to the facts and figures!

I have pm-ed you.

Its not uncommon for birth parents to contest, it’s often an attempt to say they’ve done everything possible to fight for their child which can help them move on following the loss of their child. It sounds like your little one has been with you for a while now and it’s possible that birth mum has changed, but more often than not those changes can’t be sustained in the face of parenting a child.

The birth parent would need evidence of sustained change that makes it possible for them to parent safely. By the point adoption is considered for a child there’s a significant body of evidence that the parent can’t care safely and it’s hard to overturn that evidence. No one can say how it will go in your specific case, but it’s rare for a child to be returned once permanence has been agreed for them.

Its stressful so take particular care of yourself just now.

I have no advice sorry but we are about to be in a similar position I think.
My head says the evidence is overwhelming, my heart hurts at the thought it might not be enough so you're not on your own x

Our birth mother contested. It was one of the most stressful time of my life. However, by the adoption stage it is too little too late . She had been given many, many chances and it was just a delay tactic which was dismissed.

It’s so hard!
LO’s BM lied and contested so we ended up with 3 separate court dates for different things. I thought I would die of a heart attack. It was all ok. Horribly nerve wracking. What will happen is there will be the adoption hearing in response to you filing for the adoption order. BM with contest. The judge will go away and give you another court date and look at the evidence. This is to see if the judge agrees the BM can contest. At the next hearing the judge will either grant the adoption order (the most likely option. Barely any BMs are given the opportunity to contest because they have to prove sustain and significant change) or grant another court date to listen to contest. Your SW will give you advice at this point but it is very, very rare.