just wanted to say.. I think you adoptive parents are amazing people

[fairylights]

I only discovered the adoptions section yesterday having followed the link from active convos about Sinitta adopting a brother and a sister..(great story!)
anyway i had a look at some of the other threads and just wanted to say that i think you are all amazing people - i was in tears reading several of you talking about your adoptions/adoptive children.
I hope i don't sound patronizing, but when i was up with my poorly LO last night i was thinking about the Sinitta story and thinking how adoption is humanity at its most beautiful.
Maybe one day we will foster or adopt, we have talked about it..but realize it is HUGE thing.
All credit to you and i wish you much happiness with your children.

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Hi Fairylights-you dont sound patronising at all -I am an adopter-we adopted 2 at once 4 yrs ago and Yes it is a wonderful thing to do to be able to offer 2 little ones a different, better life than they would have had-but in our case(and probably in most others too), our children are giving us a wonderful life that we wouldnt have had -We just feel so blessed and lucky to have been matched with our perfect children.Im also acutely aware that all adopters have different experiences and some are not as lucky as we've been-it is tough sometimes but no different from what birth families experience.
Also to be brutally honest it was not my first choice to adopt-we did have years of miscarriages and failed IVF before making our decision to adopt.But if I'd have known back then how wonderful it is to be a mother and how 'normal'it feels(its hard to express but you dont feel that you've not given birth to them-it just feels as though they were meant to be ours)Id have forgone all the heartache/rollercoaster emotions and just got on with adopting!!!- sometimes I look at them and think ''oh my God-what if they'd have been matched with someone else!! -Do any other adopters feel like that I wonder?

'oh my God-what if they'd have been matched with someone else!!' -Do any other adopters feel like that I wonder?

I absolutely think that - quite often along with "I'm more lucky than anyone has a right to be in one lifetime"

I can;t even look back now and think that I wish the IVF had worked because then I would have a differnt child Unthinkable. I wish I could have given birth to him though, if only to make his life easier and remove some of the loss he will feel at some point.

I'm very happy to be considered amazing but really hate it when people say to me that my DS is "lucky" to have been adopted by me. I always think (and sometimes say) "Well actually, lucky would have been staying with his birth parents and growing up happy, safe and healthy with them". I think I am a good alternative for him, he isn't lucky to have me, I'm what he deserves. What every child deserves idelaly if they can't grow up with their borth parents.

But thank you - I will now consider myself to be certified as "amazing" rather than the usual plain old "certifiable" most people consider me...

Agree. We are SO lucky to have our wonderful son, and I do now believe in fate. We were married nearly 17 years before we had him, but it was "fate" waiting for him to be born!

Well like others we just feel we should have got on with adoption earlier instead of waiting until mid/late 30s and now being parents a little older than most of 2 teenagerish children!
Like Kew can't bear anyone to think that they are the lucky ones and it has been said - we are the lucky ones in all of this. It is a weird thought the matching though - know of people who adopted at same time from same place as us and we know that any one of us could have been the parents of anyone of the children........
We often say how lucky we all are to have found each other! There really isn't a day goes by without me thinking that even now.
We just can't imagine being parents to any others than our 2!
Getting them wasn't easy -it was quite simply the hardest but the best thing we have ever done!

thanks fairylights. we got our dd by the skin of our teeth as the other prospective adopters were very religious and didn't like the circumstances of her background, big mistake for them. thank go they didn't get her, we are the luckiest parents on earth.i think most adopters think they are the lucky ones to have their children.

yes kewcumber you are right - of course "lucky" is to be born into a family that can giv you love, security and care for you from the off.. i had never thought about that before. Glad you can accept being amazing though
so glad that so many of you have found adopting such a great experience.. i think we will definitely think more about it in the future.

Adoption is a wonderful thing...it can be off putting with the time it takes to go through the whole process and it can be very intrusive on your personal life (ex partners have to be contacted). However once you are approved and the child is at home with you little things he/she does makes it all worth it.