Ready to start our adoption journey

[Friendsfan86]

Good Afternoon,
I am looking for a bit of advice in relation to adoption. We have done our research extensively and we are thinking that the traditional adoption route is more suited to us. We would be first time parents after going through 5 miscarriages, our last one being in 2014. Since then we have had time to ourselves, took the pressure off, got married and brought our forever home. We’re looking to adopt a child ideally up to the age of 3 and we’re in the Staffordshire area. Does anyone have any advice on using Local Authority (LA) or or Voluntarily Adoption Agency (VAA)? I’d greatly appreciate any advice or experiences. Thanks in advance 😃

Welcome

We adopted over 15 years ago now, so no up to date information.

(We adopted a sibling pair of nearly 8 and 2.5).

I always recommend joining in an adoption UK prospective adopter soon they are so helpful,really good.

all best wishes on your adoption journey. they don't cover your area but i am with a VAA with my husband and i have been very very happy knowing
when they are placed that my child and is as a couple
will have lifelong support through them. I can pick up the phone and ask for their expertise at any stage. so i would look very very seriously at the post adoption support available.

@UnderTheNameOfSanders how lovely ❤️ I’m so pleased that you’ve had a lovely adoption journey

@tonyhawks23 thank you so much, I will do this now. There’s such a lot of information and options to research.

@Beautifulvue thank you so so much. It’s been my lifelong journey to be a mum. A birth child is just not an option I no longer wish to pursue. I’d love to be able to by a mum to a child that needs our love and safety, nothing would make me happier. Can I ask, in terms of a VAA, did you have a longer waiting time? I’ve contacted 2 VAA’s today and they were incredible over the phone. The only thing that we were considering LA for is that VAA may not be able to match us and it could be a longer wait. We would like to adopt a child up to 3 years old ideally as we would be first time parents and feel this is the age bracket that we’d ideally like, however, we’ve not completely ruled out other ages at all. We just have family and friends that have children around these ages and have the most experience with those ages. I feel really bad saying that as I would love to be a mum to any age of child, it’s just that we feel this age would be suitable for us at the moment. Thank you in advance for your advice x

I’d contact your LA. They usually have open evenings that you can go to.

We adopted through an LA. We went to two LA open evenings and one was clearly a better fit for us. We adopted our little boy 18 months ago when he was 2. Greatest thing to ever happen to us. He is pure joy and magic.

Good luck!

@Noimaginationforaun this makes me so happy ❤️ Can I ask how long the whole process took for you? X

@Friendsfan86 We made our initial phone call September 2019, approved June 2020, Matching panel was March 2021 and he moved in April 2021! It felt like forever at the time (especially the matching process) but now we can look back and say it all worked out how it was supposed to!

@Noimaginationforaun how lovely for you ❤️ and that was during covid times too so I suppose the process was a little slower. Did you enquire with an FAA’s or just LA’s. I’ve done a few VAA enquiries and I have filled out an enquiry form for a local LA. I’m just so nervous about everything. Would you mind at all if I popped you a private message?x

@Friendsfan86 Yes COVID did not help. We had our approval panel pushed back and then there was a delay on starting the matching process because of court delays. We only ever looked at LAs just because we felt it was a better fit.
Sure you can, DM away!

don't apologise- you are meant to have preferences of what age would work for you - you will work through this all with the social worker.
I would say ask the VAA and LA both for average waiting times. See if there are big differences but especially ask why. There are good reasons to wait - to get a child you feel is right for you /whose needs you can handle. investigate Early Permanence and Foster to Adopt. But go with who you feel will support you most. this is unfair but I was able to trust my VAA more than a LAA- if you are with a LAA you don't have an independent social worker who is just looking after you and not responsible for getting targets placed in her own LAA. So there is a bit of distance. there is a halfway house in some areas where the VAA is part of a consortium where they are running the adoption process for the LAA's - but even there the social workers for the child are not in the same organisation as the social worker for the adoptive parents. This for me is good. But there are many great LAA's - but I would find independent evidence that they are good and you need to trust your gut about whether you feel comfortable with them - and you need great post adoption support services for all the childs life in my opinion. x

@Beautifulvue thank you so much for the sound advice. I’m literally on the fence at the moment on which route to go down. We’ve had some amazing conversations with 2 VAAs. Would you mind if I was to send you a private message?x

yes happy to. just so you know i am at end of stage 2 going to panel next month. still not at family finding stage.

@Beautifulvue oh wow how exciting! So close now ❤️ I’ve popped you a message lovely x

We've had a bit of experience with both as we did stage one with a VA and then had to move to our LA, which is part of a RAA, for stage two. A lot of LAs are part of RAAs now. If you are looking for a child 3 or under then, in my opinion, you are probably better with your LA/RAA than a VA right now unless you are open to 'harder to place' factors. You might find this of interest (though please keep in mind that it is from an LA social worker) www.instagram.com/p/CdGOEQssJNt/

Our LA were amazing,so supportive throughout.our DD took 3 years to arrive.things are incredibly slow so pace your expectations and do know it's really hard at every stage.and at the moment there is the unusual situation where there are more adopters than children,or it is a big mismatch of those waiting,so people seem to be waiting a long time for a match.i totally recommend the adoption UK zoom meet ups and the al coates podcasts,hel have some on RAA (LA) v VA I'm sure.i also think that due to the change in need of children there was one that recently closed down?I may be wrong?families for children maybe?not sure but worth thinking about perhaps.good luck and enjoy your journey,defo join the meet ups they are so helpful.and read everything you can!

@Kindee wow, this is a great post, thank you so much for that. The Instagram post has really shocked me I’m honestly, those costs are crazy!! Can I ask have you been matched with LA?xx

@tonyhawks23 thank you so much, this is really helpful! I think covid and the courts closing during that time caused a lot of delays. Hopefully things will start to move quicker now. Thank you so much for your well wishes. I’m sure we’ll have some more clarity once we’ve finished our introduction meetings x

I think covid also sped things up in a lot of ways,enabling online panels for example and part of our assessment,covid didn't slow things for us so do count 3 years as a realistic timeframe and know there are still alot of people waiting on link maker far longer than we did.i think it helps alot as you go along not to believe the 6 months thing,makes it easier as you go along

Just read the Instagram thing and remember a discussion on Al coates where they reckoned the downside of the RAAs forming,although really positive in the other ways,was that it was eroding the VAs.should also mention our DD wasn't placed from our LA where we did our assessment but through linkmaker so will have incurred our LA that huge cost but it was never an issue and we feel completely supported she was also considered harder to place.

@tonyhawks23 thank you so much for your honesty in regards to wait times and things. It seems like from the discussions I’ve had with others the longest I’ve seen people wait with LA has been 2 years with covid backlogs. Maybe it’s different as I suppose the amount of children that can be adopted under that persons criteria could be very little or a lot at the time. I’ve spoken to someone today who was matched with an under one year old in 3 months after going through the assessments and panel taking just over 7 months. I’ve been reassured today from our RAA that they are meeting 6 month deadlines currently and sometimes quicker depending on background checks. We’re happy to wait for the right child for us. Hopefully one day that time will come 😃

We were approved mid August and are family finding at the moment. I know our SW has put us forward for 3 children since then within the RAA. Something to keep in mind is that agencies may say you can complete stages 1 and 2 in 6 months, however due to lack of staff etc you may not be moved on to stage 2 straight away. In our RAA the adopters usually have to wait 3 months between completing stage 1 and starting stage 2. It isn't a bad thing really as you can prep a lot to make stage 2 easier and get lots of study time in. I definitely recommend joining Adoption UK asap as others have mentioned. Their webinars cover so much and you can work your way through their passport membership, which will put you in a good place for panel. You should be careful when looking at other adopter's journeys, particular their matching times because you have no idea what their complete matching criteria is 🙂 I know it is hard though. If you want to chat about the process or have any questions feel free to drop me a DM.

We started our journey February 2020 and our little one was only placed with us this week. That was through our LA and we had a wider age range than you do. We were assured at every stage we'd fly through and be matched in no time; so just take timings with a pinch of salt.....you may be one of the lucky ones who gets a quick match but it's far more likely that you'll be doing 6 months for assessment and then another 6 months for family finding, getting through panel and placement etc. As a minimum.
Good luck :)

Thank you @Kindee thats really helpful. I’ve popped over a DM, apologies in advance for the essay 😂x

@ExhaustedButHappy22 thank you so much, I really appreciate the honestly from everyone. I have read that it can take longer which is fine, it’s something that we’re prepared for. How excited that you’ve now got your little one with you, you well and truly deserve all the happiness x