Who do they ask for references from?

[APhotoOfParis]

Hello all,

I am asking a relatively simple question that I cannot figure out from google!

My brother is looking to adopt a child, and for many many reasons that I won’t go in to, I truly do not think it is a good idea, and I would be seriously concerned and worried for a child in his care. I know my own mum feels similar but would lie through her teeth to make him happy.

would I ever be asked for his opinion? I know he would avoid asking me for a reference if possible. He probably would ask mum and did care her exact response.

i genuinely have no idea if immediate siblings are asked or not?

Thanks in advance for your help!

Oh goodness so many typos!

** his opinion = my opinion

** did care = dictate

Hiya

We had to have 8 references in total. One each from our work places/managers. A family member each and then two others.

My partner chose their brother as mum isn't capable of writing one. Then two close friends.

If your brother has been in previous relationships with people who have had children then they may be asked to also provide a reference. There will be other checks made as well.

The social workers aren't daft and will be experienced. They know everyone is on their best behaviours. It's a long process and I'd be surprised if he could put on a front throughout the process.

Your brother will have to talk about his relationship with you during his application.

If you have concerns and can give reasons why he wouldn't be suitable then contact the Agency he is applying to

Except the above is not true, is it?

What's not true??

Sorry@Pawpatrol2020 that probably did sound far grumpier than intended, but I don’t think you can state confidently the social workers will be experienced and so on, given recent events.

Yes it come across as confrontational. I'm not interested in arguing. Hopefully with all your knowledge you can advise the OP and offer them further advice or reassurance.

I have no reassurance to give. I just think telling them that social workers will know if someone is not the right person to adopt is false. If you wish to take that as confrontational, that’s a shame as it’s not the intent.

My sister is hoping to adopt.
She nominated a family member for a reference & interview.
I think it is fairly easy to present as a 'normal' person who would be a good parent through the process as social workers are only human and most people can present the best version of themselves.

If it's a safeguarding issue then you have a moral duty to contact the agency in question. If you need to do this anonymously, then do so, don't rely on the agency or social workers keeping the report anonymous (eg give a false name/new email address etc). Then hopefully they will do with that information what they need to do.

I agree with others that if you are that concerned you are morally obliged to contact the adoption team and share your concerns.

We only gave 5 references in total, one each from work and then 3 personal. So depending on the agency there's a good chance you wouldn't be contacted.

I agree with others that you should contact the agency directly and share your concerns. Depending on what they are the social workers will probably discuss these with your brother.

Please contact the agency. These children have suffered enough.