Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Original poster

What happens after seeing a profile?

12 replies

Diamond82 · 26/09/2022 19:29

We’ve been shown a few profiles and were shown one a week ago where we particularly felt like this child could be a very good match for us (I don’t want to say we got attached because I’m trying not to have this mindset at this stage).
We told our social worker we would like to find out more information about this child but have heard nothing since.
This is the first child we have said yes to, so I feel a bit clueless about what happens next if anything. Can anyone shed some light?

OP posts:
Jellycatspyjamas · 26/09/2022 19:47

A week is too quick to expect a response tbh. Your social worker will need to contact the child’s social work to obtain more information and to discuss your profile, they’ll also want to explore whether anyone else might be in the mix for this little one. Depending on diaries, holidays, working days etc it can take a while to have the conversation and then relay that back to you.

This is a frustrating part of the process but I’d caution patience, and holding onto your emotions tightly - you may see many profiles before you find “your” child.

Original poster
Diamond82 · 26/09/2022 21:20

Thank you @Jellycatspyjamas that information manages my expectations. I’m certainly doing my best to hold the emotions, I just try and think of it as if it’s meant to be it will happen.

OP posts:
GoodTennis · 27/09/2022 19:29

If your social worker hasnt given a timescale pop them an email and just ask. They are your social worker remember, they are there to support and guide you through the process!
I tried my best not to get too attached too quick but it's really hard when you have radio silence!

PrincessInDisguise · 28/09/2022 06:52

Hi OP,

We saw about 8 or 9 profiles the way you've described....only 3 of those were profiles were the other SW had expressed any interest in us, and the rest were our SW taking the lead.

Sometimes we heard nothing back at all if they were not interested, other times our SW just told us it was

PrincessInDisguise · 28/09/2022 06:53

A no (sorry, pressed send too soon).

I wouldn't get your hopes up too much at this stage.
In our case for our successful match, we only actually received the profile after a selection meeting had already been held choosing us as the preferred adopters. (Although we weren't told that at the time!)

Original poster
Diamond82 · 08/10/2022 01:06

thanks everyone for your responses. I contacted social worker and she said she had no feedback which probably meant it was a no go. I think it would have been helpful to get feedback but oh well. Hoping we do get another profile soon.

OP posts:
ScottishBeth · 08/10/2022 08:42

I'm sorry to hear that OP. It's a really difficult part of the process. However hard you try, it's impossible not to be hopeful. It might take time but it will happen for you.

Kindee · 08/10/2022 11:55

Sorry you didn't get feedback OP. We are currently waiting on feedback for a profile our sw put us forward for a couple of weeks ago but I know there were 4 other PARs put forward as well as ours so I assume it is a no by now. It's really hard! I hope you find the right match soon 🙂

Noimaginationforaun · 08/10/2022 16:21

Sorry OP. It is always hard when profiles you like get no feedback or you get told no. Your brain can’t help but go to the ‘what if’ places.

It will happen and it will make sense in the end. We are 18 months post placement and I know why those other profiles didn’t work out. Our LO has our whole heart and we can’t imagine our life without them. It will
happen for you too.

Original poster
Diamond82 · 09/10/2022 18:41

@ScottishBeth @Kindee @Noimaginationforaun thank you for your encouraging words, I really appreciate it as deep down I suppose I was pretty disappointed. I’m sure our little one is out there, this one wasn’t meant to be.
Pleased to hear that it feels like it makes sense in the end.

OP posts:
ScottishBeth · 10/10/2022 13:18

@Diamond82 it is disappointing. I'm sorry. I remember our first 'no' I took it really well, and write about him in my journal, wishing the best life and family for him (and that was a bit of a different situation, I hadn't invested in him as much). A few more though and I was not able to be so philosophical. Now we are in introductions with an adorable little one, who I am crazy about. And honestly I'm glad it happened the way it did.

It'll happen for you when the time is right.

Original poster
Diamond82 · 10/10/2022 21:04

Thank you @ScottishBeth that’s so wonderful you are now in the introduction phase. I hope it all goes smoothly for you 💕

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread