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Adoption

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Cats and introductions

6 replies

Torvy · 11/08/2022 17:48

Hi all,

We are moving on apace with our adoption journey and are considering plans for introductions.

However, our lovely cat has caused us some minor concerns.

She has always been quite chilled with visitors etc, either being quite affectionate or just leaving them well alone. We've had my nephews and friends children round, and she either stayed away from them entirely or allowed a few strokes before retreating to our bedroom when she has had enough, a rule we intend to hold for her with our children (you can't play with the cat if she is in our room). So no prior problems or concerns.

However, we recently had her in a cattery for a couple of weeks, and then (due to my poor diary keeping) had family round the day after. She doesn't travel well, and was incredibly stressed after the long journey home. (Think vomiting goblin yowling pitifully at our hideous cruelty at putting her in a cat carrier etc) the next day she then hissed and batted at one of my family members that tried to stroke her, and they said that they were surprised at her behaviour. To me, the behaviour was kind of understandable- undesirable, but understandable. The day before she had been a vomit covered gremlin and had to be physically washed, so had not properly recovered from that ordeal. A hiss of not wanting to be touched is a clear warning that worked.

Now, the spanner in the works is that we were originally considering putting her in a more local cattery for the first few weeks of any children being home just to ease them in as neither of the children have had pets and we want to reduce stress for them and her initially- we thought it might be helpful. However, we appreciate this takes the cat away from her routine, which we now have proof that it might make it difficult for her to reintegrate to. We don't want this to be a problem for the kids after on, and are now considering whether a phased introduction would be actually as good a thing for her as it is for them, rather than having her arrive into the melee a few weeks later.

We are wondering whether anybody else has ever boarded their cat initially during the first few weeks, or whether their cat had a subsequently adverse reaction to visitors after boarding? Like I said, she is normally so chill with visitors normally that I think it was triggered by the journey, not them, if you see what I mean. Now they have all gone she is just relaxing and behaving as usual.

Things we have considered to help her are:

A local cattery (so less travel vomit time)
Stocking up on Feliway
Speaking to the vet about a calming treatment
Calming spot on
phased introductions
keeping her away from the children initially to get used to their noise and smells
Possible playing videos of children playing to accustom her to the noise?

Are we just overthinking here? We love our little kitkat and just want to do the right thing for everyone, kids and cat included.

Thoughts, comments and speculations are all appreciated!

OP posts:
Whatthechicken · 11/08/2022 19:29

I thought about keeping my dog away for the first few days, as she’s a barker, but the social workers said no, so we put up gates, had rules around food and when the dog is in her bed. I think give your cat lots of escape places, dot some cat trees around so she can get up high and place her food and litter in a different room (with a cat flap in door if needed), I’d keep everything the same as much as possible for the cat. We also had two cats when we adopted, they just stayed away. From day one though we’ve insisted that if the cat wants a stroke it will come to you.

Cats are quite good at getting away if needed, if they have escape routes. One of my cats did scratch one of the children once…but it didn’t happen again. I do remember though the SW saying ‘hasn’t this cat taken to the children’ , which made me chuckle a little…because cats will take to people in their own sweet time!

abc121 · 11/08/2022 20:11

Ever since Placement our cat literally only comes into the house when LO is at school and once LO is in bed !! To be fair the cat always disappeared anyway pre LO whenever anyone except us were here.

Your cat will make it's own decision- whether to be around your LO or not ! Cats are very good at keeping out of the way...

ifchocolatewerecelery · 11/08/2022 21:14

Depending on the age of the children, it might be worth putting a stair gate on your door to create a physical barrier between them and the cat. My cat has multiple hiding places around the house but will end up in the kitchen with the dogs (and stealing one of their beds) if the kids are too much because they can't get past the size gate.

EnergyCreatesReality · 12/08/2022 14:16

We have 3 cats and the oldest is very nervous of strangers and will hiss if feeling scared. We were nervous if how she’d react as she’s not a fan of my youngest niece but we kept all cats at home during intros and made sure they were safe upstairs as we didn’t want them to feel pushed out.

We had a stair gate to stop LO going upstairs and another going from the kitchen to the utility so they could eat in peace without being disturbed.

it took a bit of time for the cats to get used to a toddler in the house 24/7 but now they all happily sit together on the sofa 😊

Torvy · 12/08/2022 15:14

Thanks all, this is really helpful and heartening! Some excellent suggestions :)

OP posts:
Trainham · 12/08/2022 16:30

Stair gates didn't work for me they were climbed over and other measures circumnavigated .child constantly covered in scratches if cat too slow to move away and cat would leave any room the child entered but when child was sad and struggling the cat would curl up and sleep with them

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