Seeing Foster family

[Nel81]

Hi, my son has been home two weeks. Tomorrow we are seeing the Foster family for the first time since he came to live with me. Any tips on doing this? I'm a bit concerned with how he'll behave and also how he'll be when it's time to leave. Thanks.

Our dds foster family came to visit after 2 weeks and it was really hard for her, I feel it was too soon and it did mess up her sleeping etc. They came to us for just an hour and then we took them back to the train station to wave goodbye. When they came in she was really confused and shy but after a while settled in to it and played abit. She was fine with them leaving but it clearly was an upset for her, but maybe it just is something to be done and theres no easy time for it? Shes really settled now so may have helped her through the grieving etc I dont know. I would keep the visit short and simple, dont try to cook for them etc, just be completely present with your son and keep him close.

We found meeting somewhere neutral worked best for us, so at a park or attraction.

I agree with above about not trying to do food or anything - very important just to be present.

take it very easy and I also think having the meeting in a park or somewhere focussed on the child (softplay/ whatever they enjoy!) would be important so the foster carer is just kind of there rather than a key person.

if the meeting doesn’t go well and negatively affects your child, don’t be afraid to put a stop to the visits. Our social workers tried to make us do loads of meetings - basically every other day for about a week. It didn’t work so we just did online phone calls. It was too much for us all and just too emotional and stressful. We were simply too tired as it’s exhausting!!!! I think the foster cater was also exhausted!!

Thanks, we're meeting in a local park he's been to a few times with me. The social workers did want us to meet at mine but the Foster carers children didn't want to, which I'm glad about tbh. I'm just dreading the leaving.

How did it go OP?

Hi, it went really well thanks. He was a little shy for the first 5 minutes but soon came around. He did think he was going home with them so wasn't entirely happy to get in my car but the Foster dad put him in and they all gave him a kiss goodbye and by the time we got home 10 minutes later, he was fine and has been fine since.

Oh that’s great! So glad it went well 😊