Adoption questions

[ILoveAndrew]

Hello, I have been having problems with abnormal bleeding for about ten years now and have finally decided that enough is enough and it's time to have an hysterectomy.

I would've loved to have children but it hasn't happened naturally. I've thought about adoption for a long time and life is pretty much settled and I'm financially secure, but I have some questions.

I am in a well-paid job, but this is in the charity sector and the future of my role is heavily dependent on funding. I currently have my role funded until the middle of next year and I know that my employer is keen to keep me on. Would this be an hindrance in my ability to adopt?

I am also significantly overweight but I am active and swim a lot. I can chase after kids. Would this be an obstacle?

Also, although I am financially stable, after my last relationship broke down a few years back I took out multiple loans, a credit card and was late paying bills many times trying to keep afloat. This has completely whacked my credit rating. I know that my finances will be looked at, but will they check my credit rating? At the moment because I'm single with no dependents, I spend money like there's no tomorrow on takeaways, nights out and nice food. I CAN budget accordingly though. Would this be an issue?

Many thanks in advance.

No they won't check your credit rating but yes they will look at your finances.
I'm also a single adopter and you do really need to go into adoption with strong finances.
When I started I was also in the charity sector. I had a decent salary, fine for single person, but not an adoptive single mum.
One of the most significant factors was that they only offered statutory adoption pay and leave, neither enough time or money.
Most social workers will expect you to take a year adoption leave - can you finance that? Have you factored in childcare ? What about if you can't return to work full time?
Your job may be an issue, you won't be able to start the adoption process until you have had your surgery, the process can take 1 -2 years - so the project funding cycle may be am issue
My job was on a 2 year cycle- too much uncertainty for me so I went back into the public sector for the security, adoption pay and a salary increase big enough to enable me to go part time.
Your weight probably will be an issue so I would start doing something about that now.
Adopting as a single person is not easy, lots of us do it, but it's tough

I work in the charity sector and have adopted two as a single parent. I’m also very overweight and it was discussed but not an issue. I’d advise you to start saving money now, because regularly adopters are expected to try and take a year off work so savings will need to reflect that. They don’t do credit checks, but will most likely end up discussing it during the process. Goodluck!

ILoveAndrew when you say 'significantly overweight' do you have any idea of your BMI?

My experience was that I was also significantly overweight (with a BMI of about 34/35) and was asked to address this. I did try and have continued to try over the years.

There are a number of issues in relation to weight. The key things might be...
Are you healthy, not just able to run after kids but able to live a long and healthy life?

Can you prepare healthy meals and set a good example of healthy eating etc?

I am sure there are more reasons as well.

So I'd suggest addressing the weight now to show you are doing your best with that.

in terms of money, can you save up now, cut out the takeaways etc and put as much away as possible. I'd also consider a permanent contact that would give you good adoption leave and some level of flexible working.

I am lucky my job is very flexible and that has helped (ironically with my birth child) but I am also an adopter.

I’d start budgeting now - both to prove you can do it and to put yourself on the best possible financial footing going into the process. Not worrying about finances is a god send initially post placement because frankly there are so many other things to worry about, anything you can do to relieve the pressure on yourself is worth doing. I’d also bring your debt down as much as possible, again to relieve any additional stress.

Start to work on your weight - you don’t need a perfect BMI but tackling it just now will ease the process because they’ll see you preparing for the reality of children (eg increased energy levels, better health generally.

It sounds be best for you to be in secure employment, like @Ted27 i left a good job in the third sector for the security and benefits of the public sector - that’s been a good decision in many ways and the hours are more family friendly. Think of this time as being you preparing in the same way you might for pregnancy (financial security, best health possible, generally stable).

Please check with your LA - one we tried to adopt with wouldn’t allow anyone with a bmi of over 40 to proceed.

Our la did credit check us. We had to complete a detailed spreadsheet of our finances and send it back. We then had a session to discuss finances. Not sure why our LA were so hot on it. We also had to submit a bank statement can’t remember if it was for one or three months. Our LA did such long and detailed assessments on us both times within three years. There were no areas of concern about us.