I just feel like we've had two horrendous days with foster carers and their expectations of their relationships with our child.
First child was adopted 5 years ago aged 8 months. Was with FC for those 8 months. We met with the foster carer at the park. For context we meet about once a year - because we all live very busy lives (her included). Met with anger that they didn't get a cuddle and just wanted to play and wouldn't sit and chat with her.
Whilst this may be unreasonable of me, I felt an insane sense of rage when first child was having a sandwich, hadn't even finished, and without asking child or us as parents, started wiping their face. I don't know why I felt so angry - but it's almost as if she was doing the parenting rather than us. It may have just been something she does as she does have a lot of babies.
Child is not bothered at all about contact. it has no clear benefits or negative effects.
Second child, much newer as I'm nearly going back to work. they are 2 now but adopted when about 13 months. Very clingy child - as I don't think the attachment is quite there yet - but all good - quite glad to be depended on. FC gets quite upset that there's no cuddle and that she is quite clearly rejected - probably based on a residual memory. For context, introductions were done over a 2 month period, but it became too draining to maintain contact for everybody involved due to distance so this is the first time in about 6 months since we have seen them.
Contact has had a negative effect on second child - but really miniscule. I'm just not able to increase contact due to going back to work soon.
How do people manage contact with FC after placement? Does it fizzle out like I'm praying ours does?? I feel like the FC have unrealistic expectations of the children which set them up to fail!