Foster to adopt

[LoudingVoice]

We’re considering foster to adopt, the SW can’t/won’t give us much info on how often the child will eventually be placed back with a family member rather than go to full adoption proceedings.

Does anyone have any experience of this or has heard of other people’s experiences?

I’m a bit wary that they keep saying ‘oh it’s really likely they’d stay with you’ but don’t seem to have any facts to back that up.

You’d think there would be stats, sorry if that sounds calculated but if it’s 50/50 I don’t know if I could emotionally cope.

I'm sure there are statistics and hopefully someone on here will be able to pull them up. But even if 95% of children stayed with their adopters, you would still need to be prepared for the chance that your family could fall into the 5%. Regardless of statistics you'll need to go into it with the knowledge that it could go either way.

Adoption resources U.K. on Instagram has done a recent post on this topic.

In our local authority, 1 baby has been returned to birth family since the FFA process was introduced in ?2013?

There’s a post on here not far down about a child that was returned to birth parents after 18 months, I think. I think that post has a lot of F2A commenters which may give a better perspective.

I know we went to one open evening and heard that 2 children had been returned to birth family the previous year. I also know 2 other people that it has happened to.

No one will ever be able to give you a definite percentage or answer. Even if you search, like most things with adoption, the scary and hard things are often talked about more because people who are struggling are more likely to reach out for help than those who are off living their life.

Good luck on your journey! I know there is special F2A training and maybe that will offer some more guidance for you!

Unfortunately it is not possible to give you a statistic (I know first hand how hard that is to hear.) Our family has had two experiences of foster to adopt. I'm sure, as you are considering it, that you know your role is, without a doubt, to love and nurture a little one while their family prove their parenting is, "good enough." This will perhaps not be the level of care or the patenting that you may have given but still, "good enough," for baby to go home to its family. If this is something you feel you can do (as of course it is preferable that a baby stay with its parents if they can care for them then) you will absolutely find the emotional strength to do foster to adopt. It is an incredible thing - you may have the chance to work closely with a birth family and grow to care deeply for them as well as their little one. You will fall completely in love with a baby and as a result make decisions about what is right for them - not you. It is both the most emotionally challenging yet deeply fulfilling thing you may ever do and if you step forward with it I am certain you will discover emotional strength and resilience you never knew you had. Wishing you well in your decision xx

When we did foster to adopt a few
years back, we were told the stats of babies returning to birth family was 1 in 10. I don't know if that's still true.

In my experience the most important thing is to find out the specific stats for your LA - not all LAs are as good at F2A, some have significantly better stats than others.

Also, every F2A case is different, you really need to assess them on their own individual risk - not all F2A cases are equal in risk. For example, A birth family who have already had 6 children adopted are, very sadly, more likely to have their 7th child removed too so your risk (of baby returning) is very low.

For us, yes there is risk, but it is balanced by the immense reward of caring for a child from birth. For me, the newborn experience is worth the anxiety over risk.

I should add that example is a broad generalisation - I'm certain it's not true for everyone.

Thank you, that’s a really interesting account to follow.

Thanks @OrangeStrawberryPlum that’s the kind of info I’m after, I can prepare myself that it can still go both ways but I’ll see if I can find similar info for my LA.

Its just the way my brain works, I think if it’s a higher chance the child will stay with us then even if they didn’t I think I’ll be able to handle it better should they be returned because it’s less of a chance it will happen - not sure if I’m making much sense.

I was warned that the chance of the baby returning to BM & BF might not be high, but that members of their families might be considered as good enough options for kinship adoption.
Eg BM may have had 6 children previously removed, but if it's a different BF then his family might be able to look after a child of his - there is currently a case in my agency of 2 years as the courts still haven't ruled out the baby being returned to the BPs.
Agreed adoption resources on insta seems to be great source of info on current stats to do with adoption.

We have adopted via ffa.
I too found it hard they couldn't give us stats but after a number of discussions with our SW I realised 2 things...

1. Even if it is 1 in 1000 we had to be prepared for how we'd cope if we were that one. We discussed the physical things we'd do (pack away baby's room, go and stay with friends, return to work) and how we'd cope emotionally.
2. Every case is different and so carries a different level of risk. We were given plenty info so we could decide for ourselves whether we were willing to go ahead (as it happens ours was fairly low risk but was still heart wrenching at times as we went through contact, review meetings and heard birth parents say all the right things).

Five months after our little one was placed with us the placement order was granted, we were officially matched another 2 months later. Go with your gut instinct, you will know what you can manage emotion wise x