First interview

[drcb83]

Hey All, we have our first interview with our social worker after being accepted to stage one...on Monday. Any ideas on what it contains? They have not said. Thanks!

Ah how exciting! For ours, our social worker and a social worker support came to have a chat. Asked us about why adoption, bit about us as a couple, talked us through what stage 1 entailed and the training we would have. Had a look around the house. It was very laid back! Just like an informal chat but where they were obviously starting to just get an idea of where we were.

For us, we’d been on the open evening 7 months before and had a 7 month break. They wanted to know why and we explained how we’d gone away to research more about adoption so we were starting the process on the best footing and with our ‘eyes open’ so to speak. They were very nice! We spoke more to the social worker support during stage 1 as stage 1 is basically 95% paperwork which she organised. Stage 2 was more intense with our social worker weekly meetings.

My first interview felt reasonably informal.
At the time I was shopping for an agency and was interviewing them as much as they are interviewing me.

It was 3 years ago - precovid and they had a quick look round my home.
We talked for about 2 hours, about all aspects of my suitability as an adopter and the types of children the agency dealt with.
The SW was 10 mins early (a common thing I subsequently have learnt) and I'm a late person who can get ready in the last 10 mins so I remember feeling my hair was a mess and I had no makeup on and I was on the back foot!

It went well I felt, but I wasn't ready yet so waited 3 years until I began the process properly (with the same agency).

I'm now in stage 2 and things I said 3 years ago get parroted back to me (it's a completely different SW).
It's a bit frustrating as I've researched a lot in those 3 years and I'm not as naive as I was about the challenges of adoption.
So don't get lulled into thinking it's an informal chat - the SW obviously makes extensive notes which stay on your file.

I've a terrible memory and a tendency to over-share and be glib, so I feel at a disadvantage that the meeting from 3 years ago is so well-documented and I don't have a clue what I've said!

I've made lots of life changes in that time in preparation to adopt, and obviously the pandemic changing a lot of things, so it's annoying to not be given a clean sheet to start with. I often have to correct the information they have about me because so much has changed.

So all in all, not as informal a chat as it first appeared to be!!

The first interview is informal but yes, it’s also documented - this is where they get an initial sense of you and your understanding of adoption. At this stage I’d avoid being too specific about your hopes for the children you have in mind, eg if you have a preference for the sex of the child, racial background etc. All of that will be explored fully in stage 2 and being very specific with social workers right from the start might make them think you’re inflexible in your approach which can be an issue.

Be open about what brings you to adoption and what your general hopes are (sibling group, age range etc), they’ll want to see round your house - don’t worry about rooms not being child friendly, they’re really looking at the space you have available and general condition of the house. It doesn’t need to be perfect, just clean and relatively tidy.

This is also an opportunity for you to get a feel for them, so feel free to ask questions about the process. Remember this visit forms part of the process so don’t share anything you wouldn’t want repeated somewhere down the line, they’ll be friendly but they’re still strangers to you so just be mindful not to over share.

Good luck.