How long after placement did your child/children go to school?

[MillyHall]

Our children (5 & 6) will hopefully (FINALLY!!) be with us towards the middle/end of next month. I had thought that the professionals had suggested keeping the kids out of school until the next school year to allow that time for us all to get to know each other, focus on attachment etc. A recent conversation has now suggested otherwise though. They love school and socialising and I get how important the routine is. I know it’s something that we’ll need to play by ear too but it would be very much appreciated if people were willing to share your experiences please. How did you manage it all?

We adopted a 7 and a 2 yo.
7yo went back after 3 weeks. School was stabilising for her and I had a very needy LO to look after (and I needed the break).
I do however think that not having 1-1 time with me impacted my relationship with DD1.

In your case I'd get them in to school after 2-4 weeks to get normality, if they seem ready. Even if it is mornings only to start with. It will also help you make local friends with children which will help over the summer.
However I'd try to work with the school to take them out individually to give some 1 on 1 bonding time until the end of the summer term.

Recommended 11-13 weeks for our 5 year old. We went with 10 as they were desperate to start school and half time timings etc. would have made it 15 weeks if we didn't start at 10 weeks. I would definitely say the longer you can keep them at home, the better. It's really hard/exhausting though!
Lots of issues didn't show in the first few weeks and if they had been going to school we wouldn't have been able to provide all the reassurance, focus and time needed. We also worried about FOMO, we would be doing lots of things with their siblings but they would be at school and miss out.
We basically isolated for about 2 weeks on placement and didn't introduce the kids to anyone/go out. Then we slowly started going out and exploring their new surroundings and also introducing them to family. It was hard and lonely but I do feel it was worth it.

6 weeks. They were placed at the start of the summer and went into their new class at the beginning of the new school year. That made sense at the time and it worked out fine. Mine love school and at the time they could cope with all the different aspects of it.

We did "special time/play" ( see "The Incredible Years" by Webster-Stratton) with each of them every day for the first year, so they got regular 1:1, which was very helpful and important.

How exciting !

We had similar timings to you. He left his old school a week early for intros. He came home on 3 April. Easter school holidays here for 2 weeks started on 5 April. His teacher came to visit us at home before they broke up and I took him for a walk to see the school.
First week of term ( week 5 for us) he went in for half a day to get uniform and meet his class. We planned on 2 weeks of half days but by the end of the first week he protested so much I let him stay the whole day.
So 6/7 weeks before he was in full time. May day bank holiday, and half term broke things up and before you know its school holidays
He did go to the school holiday club for 2 weeks but it was a very short day - 10 till 2 so we still had plenty of time to do things together.
I think its a very individual thing, My son was nearly 8, well established at school, came from a foster placement with other children to being on his own. He was desperate to be with other children, being confined for any length of time would have been a disaster for both of us.
The Easter timing was very helpful, the short bank holiday week, and light evenings meant we could go out to the park, swimming etc and has plenty of time to do bonding stuff together. It also wasnt very long to the summer holidays so we had that natural break

My eldest (8) never went back to school, she simply couldn't cope with being away from me for well over a year. I'm not saying this is usual by any means don't worry ! But it does happen, she simply could not tolerate my being out of her sight.
In my case it was very unexpected so I would say just play it by ear and be guided by the children. I know other adopted children who went within 2-4 weeks and the normality did them the world of good.
I do feel though that in our case the enforced 'togetherness' really strengthened our bond and enabled a lot of the therapy/trauma work to really take hold.,..she's now 24 and at uni training to be a dr so it didn't do her any harm.

I think that’s a long time out for chikdren who are used to the school routine. Ours were 4 and 6 when placed right at the end of the summer break here which is August. We have a September break (long weekend) and an October break and the original plan was for them to start school after the October break which would have been 9 weeks post placement. As it turned out they went to school and nursery after the September break 5 weeks post placement) because the disruption to my older child’s routine was too much for her. The social worker also commented on my need for space from them in terms of my own adjustment from working life to having two very demanding children - that wasn’t the driving factor by any means but it was in the mix.

I say that because you may find the intensity of early placement with two older children very tough and it’s ok to recognise that it may be beneficial for you all to have an earlier school placement.

Our AS was placed at 5.5 years from a children's home in the April. He was deafblind and although going to school full time we made the decision to keep him at home until September as we felt he needed time to settle and feel secure at home. One SW objected but others agreed with us and in hindsight I know we did the right thing. Good luck and enjoy!

Thank you all so much for taking the time to comment on this! It's very much appreciated and has definitely helped to straighten some things in my head... Thank you!

Our 2 were placed on 20th December (not planned, long story), 6 yr old finished old school at end of term on 17th Dec.

We had 5 weeks together as a family, 6 yr old was meant to do 2 1/2 taster days week of 11th Jan but had chicken pox so had to move it back a week to 17th and then started full time at school on 24th. Which sadly coincided with daddy going back to work, so it was doubly hard as I was straight into school runs on my own.

Had PEP meeting today (late due to useless sw) and teacher said 6 yr old is doing well, has settled in and made friends but is as expected slightly behind