Anyone else furious about Naomi Campbell's comments about her baby?

Roundthetwistyroad · 2022-02-19T19:20:31+00:00

I am fuming that someone who has such a influential platform as Naomi Campbell has basically used her voice to diss adoption. She has just had a baby aged 51 by surrogate and instead of being honest about how this child was conceived (almost certainly donor embryo) she has chosen to say - 'She wasn't adopted, she is my child' Oh, so all of us who have adopted don't have children that are ours? I am so sick of celebs not being honest about their fertility and gloating about their 'real' children. OK, I know the press do misquote and their job is to sell stories but even so I do wish Naomi had chosen her words more sensitively. It really hurts as a mum of two adopted children to read that. Sorry just needed to vent as my friends seem to think I am being unreasonable and overly sensitive.

Jacketpandbeans · 19/02/2022 20:40

I hadn't heard the story about Naomi Campbell that you mention but reading what you have said does make me feel very annoyed! No, I didn't give birth to 'my son' but I have an unbreakable bond with him and very much feel he is 'mine' as much as he feels I am 'his' mummy! (I use in inverted commas for mine/his etc. because I don't think anyone can really claim the 'ownership' of another human being that these terms suggest!)

It reminds me of a radio interview I heard a few years ago where Rod Stewart had made contact with a child he had fathered who had then been adopted. The interviewer asked Rod how his now adult child felt to have been reunited with her 'real father'! I was fuming that the interviewer used the term 'real' rather than 'birth parent'. It's so belittling to adopters!

Weekends · 19/02/2022 21:04

I hadn't seen this either, but I don't think you're being unreasonable. Our children are our real children and we're real parents.

PeachMelba78 · 19/02/2022 21:08

I haven’t adopted but my wife gave birth to our first child and I gave birth to our second and the amount of people who act as though we have separate families is astounding. I have 1 colleague who only ever asks about my youngest as in his mind my older son isn’t mine.
You are valid, full parents, all of you.

Christienne · 20/02/2022 12:12

Yup - completely agree with you OP.

The words are unequivocal - it's a real shame and a completely tone deaf statement to make.

rosiethefemaleone · 20/02/2022 21:46

Isn't she known for her beauty and not brains?

My kids are my kids.

Ted27 · 21/02/2022 02:25

I have googled several articles on this story and I think to be fair to Naomi Campbell it appears that what she has done in response to speculation in the media is to confirm that the baby is not adopted but is her biological child.

I don’t think thats an unreasonable thing for her to do or say. Why should her daughter grow up with endless speculation about her birth, because if she hadn’t done so the press would have picked over it forever.

I don’t see that she is gloating or ‘dissing ‘ adoption by making a statement of fact about her child.

UserWithNoUserName · 21/02/2022 03:41

I think her choice of words were very clumsy. I don't think she was dissing adoption as such, but rather trying to clarify. And I think it came out terribly and could have been worded much better.

Ted27 · 21/02/2022 11:24

How differently could she have phrased it

there is media speculation that the baby was adopted. She wasn't. She has simply said that her daughter was not adopted and is her biological child. How else is she supposed to say it?

Whether you agree with how the baby was conceived is another matter.

captainwellingtonboot · 21/02/2022 14:09

Whether you are a real or full parent depends on how you parent

And the comment about brains/beauty

YABU

Ted27 · 21/02/2022 14:42

@captainwellingtonboot

I'm not sure what you mean by that remark- would you care to elaborate ?

Christienne · 21/02/2022 15:16

@Ted27

How differently could she have phrased it

there is media speculation that the baby was adopted. She wasn't. She has simply said that her daughter was not adopted and is her biological child. How else is she supposed to say it?

Whether you agree with how the baby was conceived is another matter.

She didn’t simply say her daughter was “not adopted and is her biological child” though.

If that is what she had said, no one would have an issue.

Ted27 · 21/02/2022 15:19

@Christienne

So what did she say then?

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 21/02/2022 15:23

She said it was her own frozen embryo and she carried her baby herself so where does this adoption stuff come from? And why is it any of our business?

Christienne · 21/02/2022 15:28

[quote Ted27]@Christienne

So what did she say then?[/quote]
She said “She wasn't adopted - she's my child”.

Ted27 · 21/02/2022 15:33

@Christienne

I've only seen it phrased that way in headlines, in the articles I read she was quoted as saying it's her biological child.
She can't be held accountable for editors

Christienne · 21/02/2022 15:39

[quote Ted27]@Christienne

I've only seen it phrased that way in headlines, in the articles I read she was quoted as saying it's her biological child.
She can't be held accountable for editors[/quote]
No, I agree she can’t be held responsible for actions of editors.

But every article I’ve read has referenced only that quote, or with biological in square brackets, (ie the editor has added the word biological to her quote)

captainwellingtonboot · 21/02/2022 18:33

There is nothing wrong with saying "she isn't adopted she is my child" because what she means in common parlance is "biological child". She will not be aware of adoption sensitivities to language unless she has been involved in adoption circles. Most people are not aware. And in fact, within adoption circles there is no consensus about what is and what is not okay, as we have seen from this thread. What offends one person will not offend another and vice versa.

Ted27 care to elaborate I mean is that you don't become a real parent or a full parent just by being called a parent. You either parent and are therefore real or you don't. Anyone who does that gets satisfaction from within surely, they should not need affirmation that the way they became a parent is valid from total strangers. Do you disagree?

captainwellingtonboot · 21/02/2022 18:34

that should read "I mean that" not "I mean is that"

Christienne · 21/02/2022 19:14

@captainwellingtonboot

There is nothing wrong with saying "she isn't adopted she is my child" because what she means in common parlance is "biological child". She will not be aware of adoption sensitivities to language unless she has been involved in adoption circles. Most people are not aware. And in fact, within adoption circles there is no consensus about what is and what is not okay, as we have seen from this thread. What offends one person will not offend another and vice versa.

Ted27 care to elaborate I mean is that you don't become a real parent or a full parent just by being called a parent. You either parent and are therefore real or you don't. Anyone who does that gets satisfaction from within surely, they should not need affirmation that the way they became a parent is valid from total strangers. Do you disagree?

There’s lots of language out there that only offends some people. ‘Moron’ for example. Or ‘uppity’. Or ‘Irish Twins’. People should be called out when using terms like these.

‘My child’ - to specifically exclude adopted children - is an example likely to grate for many adoptive parents.

Most people with no experience of adoption wouldn’t think twice about using that language but….see the other examples above.

TabithaHazel · 21/02/2022 21:13

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

She said it was her own frozen embryo and she carried her baby herself so where does this adoption stuff come from? And why is it any of our business?

I think the whole point of the speculation as to whether the child was adopted is that she didn't carry the child - she was photographed a month before the birth with a very flat stomach.

I agree it was a bit clumsily worded, but she was clearly just trying to say she is 'mine', as in her genetic child, not disparaging adopted children. I can see why it irked you though OP, my best friend is an adoptive parent and the amount of crap I've heard people say to her about 'real parents' etc over the years is ridiculous.

BeKind2022 · 07/03/2022 19:45

As an adopted adult her choice of words do have the power to hurt. Not as much as they did as a child. Imagine being a child and teen and hearing that? Being told indirectly you are less valued / second best / not real :( imagine how that impacts your self esteem.

OP you are not being over sensitive and am guessing none of your friends who suggested have adopted or adopted.