solicitor unable to track down xh for adoption consent-what happens now?

[DeathBySnooSnoo]

hi.in febuary 07 dh and i saw the solicitor about dh adopting my ds2.i have 2 children age 9 and 10 from another relationship,ds2 from my first marriage and 2 children with dh.
ds2 is 4.5 now and has had no contact with his father since i chucked him out when ds2 was 4 months old.

as far as i know,the solicitor wrote to ss stating dh's intention to adopt ds2,then basically forgot all about it untill a student of his found the file and called us in.she wrote to us in november saying she had been unable to contact xh to obtain his consent for the adoption,but i havent head anything since then.
my understanding was that the next step would be to apply to the court to dispense with xh's permission so i dont understand why we havent heard anything yet.

You have to chase your solicitor in writing, they must respond promptly if you do.

I'm not a lawyer. But i would have thought that once you have lodged your adoption petition, social services will contact you to arrange soem vistits so they can make their report to the court. the court will also appoint a Curator ad Litem, who will also attempt to contact your ex.

You are correct that the court will be asked to dispense with his parental rights, if he cannot be found. But they will only do so if they belive that it is in teh best interetst of his child that he be adopted by his (now) step father

it sounds like you have already notified teh LA so you could procede to submit the petition

have you written to your solicitor?

i knwo all the delays are very frustrating

I am currently going through the step parent adoption process. You don't need a solicitor. Basically write to social services in the borough where you live and give notice that you will be applying to court for adoption. The council have 3 months to appoint a social worker to assist you with the process (there is no cost to you). My DD biological father has not been seen since her birth. I wrote to him at the last known address I had for him, sent it recorded delivery. The letter was returned unopended. The social worker will submit this to court as evidence that the bio father cannot be traced. As I understand it the court will then make a decission in the absence of the bio father. Let me know if you have other questions and good luck

thank you.i wasnt aware we didnt need a solicitor!we are on benefits at the mo so getting legal aid,which is probably why we havent heard anything?

i had no record of xh's last address but i gave the solicitor permission to contact the solicitor who delt with the divorce and they got the address from there.

i will write to the solicitor now and drop it in in the morning(the office is round the corner).i have to admit i find the idea of going to ss myself a bit daunting.

you dont have to go to Ss yourself. if they have been notified that you plan to adopt, you just have to submit the adoption petition to the court and the court will instruct SS to write their report. they are not writing it for YOU, though they may act like they are doing you a big favour. they are just following the court's intructions - its their legal duty

the petition is a form that you fill in

But I'm not advising you to get rid of your lawyer - that woudl be a big step as you have already got legal aid

The petition can be printed free from the court web site, it is simple to fill in you don't need a solicitor. you have to send a cheque for £140 approx.

I know what you mean about SS. Kristina is right they work for the court, their job is to ascertain that that your husband is a suitable person to adopt a child. In our case DD has never met her bio father and has called step dad daddy since she could speak, so we did feel agrieved at the whole court procedure of appointing a social worker to check up on us. Especially as they fill in a form which asks about hobbies, interests and all past employment. yet they don't check with the childs GP that the child is healthy! The whole thing is a load of red tape but you have to grin and bare it. We were allocated a social worker, who I didn't jell with when I spoke to him briefly on the phone. I asked for another- female- one to be appointed and that worked better for us.

that sounds awful,i'm not looking forward to it.i find social workers scary but dh doesnt.

i took the letter into the solicitor today and the receptionist told me that the woman who was dealing with it has left,so it will be passed back to the senior partner who was(supposedly)dealing with it in the first place.

do they ask the child questions when they do the report?its just that when ive tried to explain to ds about it he doesnt really understand and says he only wants a mummy.he thinks i produced him by myself.

the main reason we want dh to adopt rather then just get parental responsibility is that it will remove PR from xh,who is violent and has a personality disorder,and (god forbid) if anything ever happened to me we want to know that ds would stay with dh.

las vegas - i thought they require a medical report on the child??

My reasons for step parent adoption are same as yrs diva.

SS told me the court will want evidence that dd has been told 'in an age appropriate way' that she has a biological parent. When we started the process dd was 3 and three quarters. I then expained that mummy was married to another man before she was married to Daddy. It helps us that Daddy was married previously and she knows that her step siblings have a different mummy but the same Daddy. To begin with SS kept banging on about how I had to explain bio parent to DD. They suggested that I show her photos of him and explain that she has another Daddy. Of course a bio parent is not the same as Daddy but SS not in the real world. Anyway SS wanted to meet DD step brothers, basically to ascertain if Step father was a 'good father' when SS came to our home it was during a small family birthday party they then said obviously this is a real blended family and we don't need to interview DD or any other witnesses. A rather abrupt change! SS have submitted report to court which says bio father cannot be found and they reccomend to court that it makes adoption order as it is in DD best interets. As I understand it there will be an informal court hearing which SS attends, DD, me and step father, but it is just a formality. But I have not yet got to this stage...

Kristina - bizarly they have not asked for medical report, they have not even asked to see copy of red book nor for name of her GP. Step parent adoption more laid back than normal adoption. But I think whole process mad they are nore interetd in my academic qualifications and physical description than check with kids GP and class teacher!

thanks all.i got the form through the post 2 days after giving the letter into the solicitor.it has now been filled in and given to them so hopefully the ball will be rolling now.

am terrified of ss coming round though.i hope its delt with by somebody who is semi-human.

glad you have some action now

with the SS, just remember to treat it like a job interview. be polite and positive. you don't have to like them or what they ask you. just grit your teeth, smile and give the correct answer. you can rant on here afterwards

in fact, if they seem really nice, you can be fooled into thinking that its therapy / counselling and say things that you later regret

i understand that its very difficult.......when your DP has been a father to your kids for years and when you have soemone sitting in your house questioning his ability or motivation to parent them. And saying b*** stupid things like " Have you thought how you woudl cope with XXX???" or " Do you know that adopted children can be difficult?"

i have a feeling dh will be fine,he's had plenty of experience with ss himself due to being in care as a child.

i hope they dont ask me loads of awkward questions though.or visit when i have PMT