Where to start?!

[drcb83]

Hey All, After a few rounds of IVF, we are thinking about adopting. I assume there is a little one somewhere in the world who needs love and devotion 🥰. I have heard it takes a long while in the uk if we are ideally looking at a baby. Any advice or tips where to look abroad? Hear horror stories about getting ripped off and losing the child etc so has anyone got any leads on reputable agencies etc? Also - any pitfalls? I know I am green! Thanks All

Hello
I'd suggest you go to a few information evenings to get an idea of the process and start doing some research on trauma and other issues that impact adopted children. If you look at AdoptionUK I think there is still a list of resources.
Going abroad is not a quick route to a baby, particularly with the pandemic, and will cost you many thousands of pounds.

Hi,
I agree with Ted27. Adoption usually takes longer than the official guidelines suggest and that is just the way it is. International adoption won't take less time, but will be much more expensive and more risky in various other ways.

It is worth bearing in mind that for many biological parents, having a baby also usually takes longer than 9 months and adoption will take many more decisions and things to think about.

This might be helpful:

www.goodreads.com/book/show/23411826-preparing-for-adoption?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=ZlBaI0MQhs&rank=1

We looked at overseas adoption but the waiting time, costs and limitations were prohibitive for us. We adopted a three year old boy via domestic adoption over 7 years ago.

Out adoption journey took 20 months.

If you definitely want a baby you could look into foster to adopt. Speak to your local area adoption team, this would probably be the local council or local area for a bit city like London.

Good luck.

Hi we chose not to do IVF but are diving straight into UK adoption after many years of failing to conceive and miscarriages.
I would 100% try some UK adoption events to get all the information. We have gone with our local regional agency and we are in the middle of stage 1.
Information online varies as you should expect because it's not an exact timeframe. Everything needs to be suitable for all parties. I've seen people have potential matches prior to even going to panel! And I've seen people waiting years for a match.
I think the most important thing is to do as much research as possible. Its going to be very different to having a birth child. Its going to be very intrusive, and lots of difficult subjects are going to come up. Also peoples opinions. I know a few family and friends I am absolutely dreading telling.

I was definitely more unsure at first but now I feel totally at peace with not having a birth child and feel ready to take on an adopted child or deal with the stress of early permanence.

Best of luck in your journey

Cool! Thanks for that - odd Q - do you know if they place the older kids away from their extended family? Seems it would be upsetting to all parties if I was walking with adopted child down A high street and they saw their birth mum etc?

@drcb83

"odd Q - do you know if they place the older kids away from their extended family? Seems it would be upsetting to all parties if I was walking with adopted child down A high street and they saw their birth mum etc?"

Not an odd question at all. Yes, generally children are placed away from birth family. Our son came from a different part of our county and so there is no likelihood of us running into his birth family.