EPP/F2A again after loss

[OrangeStrawberryPlum]

Hi

Is there anyone on here who did EPP/F2A and had to return the baby, but then went on to do EPP/F2A again?

I'd love to hear from you. Either here or in a PM. I'm trying to decide what to do after a loss.

Thanks

Sorry no experience or advice to offer, this must have been so very hard for you, good luck with whatever you decide to do

Bumping for you OP, that must have been very hard. 💐

Can't help sorry but just want to recognise how hard this must be.
Please remember no one can ever change or take away all the things you did for the child at the time x

Thanks for your replies. It has been hard but I have come to terms with it and feel acceptance. My first child who is 4, is desperate to have another baby and do it again! I think we probably will, in the New Year.

Orange, I did recently listen to an old Al Coates Podcast from someone who this had happened to. You may have already heard it though. Incredibly emotional thats for sure. Such a loss for you and hope you are ok.

I've not heard of that podcast, would love to listen. Will try and search for it, thanks

Just had a look - it was on The Adoption & Fostering Podcast - Adopter Stories # 17 Devin, jul 20th 2019, so abit old but may be helpful to hear him talk about his experience? Its so heartbreaking. It is just such an awful thing you've gone through.

I'm a foster carer so have some understanding of your loss, though I know it's different when you've envisioned a future with the child. You couldn't give them permanence but you have given them love and stability and all the nurturing they need to be able to form positive attachments in the future. I hope if you decide to go for EA/FTA again it is a positive experience for your family whatever the outcome.

@OrangeStrawberryPlum I am not on here very often now but wanted to respond to your post. My husband and I have had two separate concurrent care (a form of f2a) placements return home. After the first one went home we were heartbroken but ultimately in agreement with the decision and very proud of the mountains mummy had scaled to have her returned to her care. So after a cry and and rest we were straight back on our journey to adoption through concurrency. We definitely are not good odds to go on because our second little one also went home but again like the first time we were happy with the decision although sad at our loss. We did go on to adopt siblings after that via adoption not f2a. However, we have since returned to short term fostering as what our experiences taught us was that we had a lot to offer little ones and their families who need us for a season in their life. It was hard letting the second one go as we wondered would we ever have our own permanent children in our home. However, we have a deep faith and clung to that and trusted that our house would always be full of children. We do not regret either decision to do concurrent care but we needed to know our own resilience levels. Only you know what you can live with in terms of loss. I should add that we continue to see lots of those two children as they grow and have been affirmed time and time again in the decision to return them home. We run a support group for concurrent carers and now know a small handful of carers who have had to re-habilitate their little ones home but have gone on to adopt the next little one placed with them. All of the children, rehabilitated or now adopted, hold special places on all our hearts. Happy to chat more if you want to pm me. I will pm you a article that was written in a faith based fostering and adoption group about our story, it may help you.

That’s lovely PinkLady, thanks for sharing. I take my hat off to anyone who either fosters or goes down the early permanency route - giving so much love and nurture to a child when they most need it, whilst knowing the best result will be returning them to their family.