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Adoption

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Match

15 replies

claireb7rg · 01/11/2021 15:27

We got unanimously recommended for match at matching panel today 😁😁 adm next Tuesday.

Sooooo excited 😁😁😁

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gordongrumpy · 01/11/2021 15:41

Congratulations!
Grin

PoppityPop · 01/11/2021 16:46

Wonderful news! This is such an exciting stage, enjoy it!

Ted27 · 01/11/2021 18:15

Congratulations - now the fun really starts !

UnderTheNameOfSanders · 01/11/2021 18:18

Fantastic!
Are they hoping to move v quickly or wait for intros until Jan?

JohnPA · 01/11/2021 18:32

Congratulations and good luck during the introductions. Take lots of photos and videos. These are memories worth recording and that you will always remember. :)

scully29 · 01/11/2021 19:41

oh congratulations!!

Jacketpandbeans · 01/11/2021 20:00

Brilliant news! So exciting for you!

claireb7rg · 01/11/2021 20:46

@UnderTheNameOfSanders

Fantastic! Are they hoping to move v quickly or wait for intros until Jan?
Original plan was to start intros in 2 weeks, move in at end of November.

But plan has changed as the sw think that the oldest is going to have issues with moving that quick so they want us to extended intros still potentially starting in 2 weeks but moving in after Christmas. We've been told we will need to be flexible and it's still likely to change as things start moving, oldest may surprise us all and be perfectly ok with shorter period.

(We thinks it's actually due to their sw being off sick for a good few weeks and not having done as much preparation work with oldest). Oldest has been constantly asking questions about their forever family and has been getting anxious about moving but fc seems to think they will be ok once they know what's going on

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claireb7rg · 01/11/2021 20:47

@JohnPA

Congratulations and good luck during the introductions. Take lots of photos and videos. These are memories worth recording and that you will always remember. :)
Thank you, we probably wouldn't have thought of that...
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claireb7rg · 01/11/2021 20:49

There's so much to think about now. Having gone from thinking I had 4 days left in work (had holiday to use up) to now having a bit longer has thrown us both, we only found out about the extended intros on Thursday so we've not had much chance to think about it properly without stressing over panel

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JohnPA · 01/11/2021 22:16

That must be so frustrating to you! How old are the kids if you don’t mind me asking? Our introductions were 10-days long and it felt like forever. However, we did have a few playdates before starting. Our kids moved in with us at the start of December, before Christmas. I obviously don’t know the children and maybe they will benefit from a introductions period of 1 month and a half - however that seems excessive (if it’s toddlers we’re talking about). Maybe you can negotiate a more flexible approach with the social worker and agree that you have a tentative moving in date for early December, after a 10-day long introductions period (which is the recommend period I think), but play it by ear and if needed extended it further.

claireb7rg · 02/11/2021 06:45

@JohnPA

That must be so frustrating to you! How old are the kids if you don’t mind me asking? Our introductions were 10-days long and it felt like forever. However, we did have a few playdates before starting. Our kids moved in with us at the start of December, before Christmas. I obviously don’t know the children and maybe they will benefit from a introductions period of 1 month and a half - however that seems excessive (if it’s toddlers we’re talking about). Maybe you can negotiate a more flexible approach with the social worker and agree that you have a tentative moving in date for early December, after a 10-day long introductions period (which is the recommend period I think), but play it by ear and if needed extended it further.
They're 2 and 6
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UnderTheNameOfSanders · 02/11/2021 08:07

Ours were nearly 8 and 2.5 when they moved in.
We had a 4 week intro period which was way too long for youngest. it did include some blocks of overnight stays so really it was more like 3 weeks.

Personally, and I only have experience of ours, I would think the plan shouldn't include a bridge over Christmas. So it should either be move in before Christmas, or start intros in January. Maybe it depends how long they have been with FC? Were they there last Christmas?

Don't underestimate how absolutely exhausting and overwhelming it may be. If they are with you for Christmas you may need to hunker down and keep things low key so as not to overwhelm both them and you.

Even though ours had been with us for half a year, we still found buying the 'right' presents hard for the elder one difficult, so a variety of lower cost ones might be better than a big one that might not hit the mark.

We had discussions in the run up as to what would happen Christmas day which was lucky as which presents Father Christmas brings was different to their 2 xmases in foster care.

I think 6 could be a hard age - old enough to understand some, but not really old enough iyswim? Throwing Christmas in too could be hard. Our 8yo was very tearful for a few weeks in the evenings as she processed that yes she and her sister were now safe, but that she wasn't seeing birth mum anymore (and why couldn't birth mum come and live with us).

otoh, moving in before will mean that next year it will be 'familiar' rather than a 'first'.

Best wishes whatever is decided.

claireb7rg · 02/11/2021 09:59

They've been with current Foster carers for just over a year so had last Christmas with them and they absolutely loved it. Which is why we were surprised when the sw suggested doing extended intros.

We were definitely planning a quiet Christmas if they were going to be with us by then. Even though both sets of grandparents are desperate to meet them, we were going to limit visitors

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lilymty · 03/11/2021 10:05

Congratulations! It's such a stressful & tiring time but it's also so amazing. Make sure you take so many photos.

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