Good morning adoption community. I'm a semi regular poster but have changed my username today given what I'm about to post. Sorry, this will be long.
I'm an adoptive mum to an amazing 4 year old boy who started reception a few weeks ago. He has lived with us (myself and husband) for two years but due to covid, birth parents contesting etc our adoption order has not yet been granted. We actually have our final hearing on Monday.
For background, our son has global developmental delay and has particular difficulty with his motor skills meaning he has problems with balance and still trips over a lot and is very clumsy. He also has chronic bowel problems meaning he is still in nappies and has to be changed at school by the TA.
Yesterday our lives were turned upside down. I went to pick him up from after school club at 5pm and was led in to a room with our son's social worker and two police officers. They told me that the school had reported two bruises and two scratches when they were changing him and when they asked him where they came from he said 'mummy.' They probed him further and he said 'mummy and daddy hit.' When the police officers talked to him they asked him to demonstrate what hitting was and he picked up a doll and smacked it.
Because of the allegations, we were escorted to hospital last night so our son could have a medical. He has had many medial procedures in his short life and is terrified by doctors and hospitals so this was extremely traumatic for him. We were there until 9pm last night. The dr concluded that the bruises were typical of a clumsy child of his age and were accidental and there were no visible scratches. Our son does tend to scratch himself when we is anxious.
We were cleared of any wrongdoing and allowed to bring him home. I feel like I am living in someone else's nightmare. I completely understand why we had to be questioned etc but I just don't understand why he would say these things. We have categorically never hit our son. We are therapeutic parents and don't believe in smacking. I am so on edge today and don't know how we get over this. Every time he gets a bruise I'm going to worry we are going to be accused. My husband is scared to even look at him today in case he says or does the wrong thing.
Because of his delay his understanding is limited and he is very suggestible so I can only assume it's been a misunderstanding but I feel like I can't trust him now. Not expecting anyone to have any advice but I'm just needing a bit of support - scared to tell anyone in real life in case they think we actually have abused him.