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What are you proud of? What am I proud of?

4 replies

Whatthechicken · 17/09/2021 21:00

My son has a tendency to be a little melancholy at times (he’s 6). He says things sometimes like ‘I don’t like myself’ and such like…which is obviously worrisome, but otherwise he is a generally happy child. There is a background of anxiety and depression within BF. This is something we will keep a close eye on, but we’ve started to have a routine at lights out of ‘what are you proud of today? and what I am proud of you for today?’ It’s something so simple but has already been so effective. I ask my son what he’s proud of that he’s done that day…doesn’t have to be massive (could be just sharing his sweets with his sister), and then I tell him what I’m proud of him for. If he’s stuck for ideas, I gently prompt some real examples (then he says: ‘I was going to say that!’). I just make sure they are real examples. Even if it’s been a bit of a shitty day, it just ends things on the right note, it seems to ground them and they love the positivity. Many of you probably already do this, but just thought I’d share the positive results I’ve already had.

OP posts:
Chocapple · 17/09/2021 22:07

Aww Smile This kind of thing is soooo good for Attachment & positivity !

We do something similar but do 3 things that the other has done that day that makes us really happy to be mother and son. And have lots of cuddles too.

Italiangreyhound · 19/09/2021 13:31

Brilliant ideas.

121Sarah121 · 19/09/2021 19:33

When things are particularly tough and my son’s behaviour is very challenging which results in a lot of shame, we read the Kindness Book by Todd Parr. It lists kind things and I always give examples of kind things I had seen my son do that day. And finish with things like, I know you have a really big kindness part (and indicate most of his body). You have shown me that part of you so well and I am proud of you for your kind behaviour. It sometimes leads to discussions about other behaviour too which helps us understand what’s going on but always referring back to the big kindness part of my beautiful boy. Highly recommend Todd Parr for the bright colours and simple words.

Jacketpandbeans · 19/09/2021 23:20

Thanks for sharing this! I've recently introduced talking about 3 we want to say thank you for at bedtime with my little one (basically 3 things we've enjoyed doing in the day) but I really like the idea of things I/you are proud of.

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