Behaviour when at home

[BAdopter]

After some advice and posting here as my son is adopted.

I'm noticing a trend that when we have a day just me and him at home his behaviour becomes testing. Doesn't listen, smacks and becomes unregulated very easily.

We are probably out and about 5/7 days, even if just for a few hours at a park. But we swim, softplay, toddler groups etc most weeks.

He is 17months, seems to be developing as expected etc and been home with me for 9 months. He presents secure attachment behaviours towards me.

He used to play alone in between our structured games and things but doesn't seem to be able to so much now. Is this 'normal'? What is/was everyone else doing with their 17month olds?

I think he might be tired in the afternoons too as he tends to have 1 90minute morning nap now and has dropped the 3pm ish nap most days which doesn't help matters...

Thanks!

Could well be nap related. Dropping a nap can be a difficult transition, especially if it's the afternoon one that's gone. I'd work on slowly pushing the morning nap later, ultimately aiming for after lunch but aim for 11 if that's easier to begin with, and do this gradually if he's napping early. And then in the hardest part of the afternoon when you're seeing the worst behaviour, and possibly coinciding with when he might have previously napped, take him for a walk in the buggy or a ride in the car so he still gets a kind of near-nap downtime in the afternoon.

I am an adoptee and parent not an adopter.

I didn't notice a change in dc like this at this age, but incidentally I am fairly sure we were out every day, not doing activities but walking and playing outside, so quite relaxed, and inside we did activities but in a fairly laidback way. It also might be that he is overtired, dependng on how much you do the swimming and softplay, or that he would benefit from being out every day but just walking or playing outside - and like pp has said moving the nap til later/if he is in the pram or car in the afternoon coming back from being out he would likely fall asleep.

At 17 months inside dc would enjoy things like fitting shapes through holes and toys with lots of buttons and noises and pulling trains etc etc if in the house and get engaged with that, so i understand your worry - except - the only time i noticed a change in dc1 was when they were 2 was when he got a serious chest infection - he started throwing things around - it turned out he also had completely blocked ears which his dr had somehow missed, poor thing - so a check up for your LO might be worth it.

And lastly hunger - have you ruled out him needing a snack?

Hi I Foster so slightly different to adoption however I suspect your child will have experience trauma at some point. He may not have memories that he can verbalise but there will be memories stored. Quite often they can hold it together in but most places but 'relax' at home so the behaviours start to present themselves.
Making sure his physical needs are met first and then on his emotional needs. At this age a lot of children will struggle to regulate their emotions. The book the colour monster may help. It helps to think about emotions as colours so that they can be understood.
Be clear and consistent with your expectations. Be calm and loving.
The sober acronym is a good way to therapeutically parent
Stop
Observe (what is the child trying to tell you)
Breath
Expand (what's going on around them/you)
Respond (not react)

Thanks all for your comments. I am going to look at his nap and afternoon snacks initially and also the way I deal with the behaviour as I think I could definetely do better.
It's dawned on me too that perhaps it could be a delayed reaction to seeing his fc a few weeks ago. Always so much to think/worry about isn't there!!