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Original poster

Removing comforting items

18 replies

cameNanger · 29/08/2021 20:43

Hi all,
We have adopted a baby who has been home a couple of months now. The transition comforter was, sadly, a lovely crochet pram blanket. Whilst I'm sure this was fine when baby was little and not moving, we now have a very wriggly 13month old and this blanket has ended up wrapped round their whole head and neck twice. Obviously baby then wakes in a complete panic, screaming the house down, and I'm less than thrilled with the danger element. Blanket needs to be replaced with something much smaller. I've already thought about making the blanket smaller but because it's crotchet I think it will just unravel too easily.

I've got lots of muslin squares so would rather swap to that. Any suggestions on how to do this gently? I am absolutely loathed to do it as baby hasn't been home that long but I just can't leave it in there with how active they are. I know how important the comforters are (hell, our older adopted child still has hers 7 years later and needs it).

Tonight I let baby go to sleep with the blanket then took it out of the cot but I know they will wake for it later. I've put a muslin in the cot in the hope that they will chew it and get their smell all over it!

Any suggestions on how to get through this? Baby didn't have an easy transition so I need a gentle approach, even if it is just removing blanket when they sleep.

OP posts:

Twizbe · 29/08/2021 20:52

It's super easy to make a crochet blanket smaller.

Look along the edge for the end / join. If you look closely you'll see either a knot or a slightly thicker patch where the end was sewn in.

Either cut that knot or undo it and then unravel to your desired size.

To finish at the new size, pull the final loop up and thread the end though the loop, pull tight and that's your final knot.

Snip off the end and use a tapestry needle to sew in the ends.

Google Bella coco crochet on YouTube for some great tutorials for simple things like this.

bbqqueen · 29/08/2021 21:00

You could give her a few items during the day which could be good comforters, such as large cuddly animals suitable for her age and blankets, which she will hopefully get comfortable with and also form attachments to, also keep the crochet blanket in view but out of reach unless she is with you., and also use words to explain to her that it is about her safety and comforting words about still seeing it, as she will understand more than she is able to communicate?

Original poster

cameNanger · 29/08/2021 21:02

I will have a proper look at the blanket tomorrow with your advice! I would love to cut it into 4 pieces so we always had a spare! It's a shop bought one so I'm not sure if it will follow the same rules but will certainly check it out!

OP posts:

Original poster

cameNanger · 29/08/2021 21:05

You could give her a few items during the day which could be good comforters, such as large cuddly animals

They already have cuddly transition toys in the cot with them, which they love. But the blanket is special!

use words to explain to her that it is about her safety and comforting words about still seeing it, as she will understand more than she is able to communicate?

They are only 13months, they won't understand. If I leave it in view they won't understand why they can't have it. They adore the blanket, they literally cuddle up into it and roll over hugging it etc...which is how it ends up over their head

OP posts:

Twizbe · 29/08/2021 21:22

If you have a picture of it there are loads of crocheters on here (including myself) who could make a smaller version for you.

gordongrumpy · 29/08/2021 21:30

If a child has chosen their comfort object, pretty much nothing can change it. I can't imagine how a blanket could be dangerous? If you're sure it could be, then yes, get someone skilled to make it smaller. It's likely the child has lost enough, without losing her blanket.

NannyR · 29/08/2021 21:39

Could you tie some knots in it so that there is less to get tangled.
If you have a sewing machine (or know someone who has!) It should be easy enough to cut it down and make a smaller one. It's hard to describe, but if you run a couple of rows of stitching up and down the blanket, it should stabilise the stitches enough to cut it. You could then sew some bias binding around the edge to make it secure. I did this successfully with a cot sized cellular blanket that had been selected as the chosen comfort object and made it into one the size of a muslin square.

Original poster

cameNanger · 29/08/2021 21:42

I'm fully aware of that, thanks for your judgemental tone I'm not chucking the blanket out without considering it but as I've had to untangle it from round their neck (fully round their neck) and completely over their head, whilst they have screamed in panic, I feel it's justified to do something about it.

I'm fully aware of the difficulties of trauma, attachment to objects etc and what my child has lost. Thanks.

OP posts:

Original poster

cameNanger · 29/08/2021 21:45

Thanks for the sewing suggestions. Im going to try to perhaps sew it so it is smaller without cutting it. I could fold it a couple of times and see it shut maybe, without risking cutting it up. Im so worried I will balls it up.

OP posts:

ButterfliesFlyingBy · 29/08/2021 21:55

How about taking it into a fabric or craft shop and asking for guidance in person? Perhaps you’ll even find someone to do it for you.

bbqqueen · 29/08/2021 21:56

They already have cuddly transition toys in the cot with them, which they love. But the blanket is special!

You are only removing it after she is asleep, and giving it back when she awakes until she falls asleep again?

If you have to move it anyway, it is worth talking to her and explaining and pointing, as at 13 months she will understand more than you think. Even if you think she isn't understanding, it is better than saying nothing, as you will have to move it anyway while she is asleep.

I am not sure it is a good idea to make it smaller though as that will change it for her.

bbqqueen · 29/08/2021 21:57

Also if you leave it as it is, she will be able to use it as it is when she is older.

gordongrumpy · 29/08/2021 22:39

Sorry, my text obviously sounded more judgemental than was meant.

Obviously, you can't leave a dangerous item in her cot.

Notsofunnynow · 30/08/2021 17:05

You could take it to a wool shop, they often are very knowledgeable on crochet, and will have many regular customers who I'm sure would volunteer to help. Or if you have a Facebook group for your local area you could ask on there?

Original poster

cameNanger · 30/08/2021 18:18

I've solved the issue for now. Folded it up three times and sewed along the outside so it is much smaller! Didn't make a single cut. LO slept pretty well without it, to my surprise, but one look at their little face when I gave it to them tonight told me everything I needed to know

OP posts:

Bortles · 02/09/2021 16:30

What about tucking the majority of it under the mattress and leaving only a corner out to cuddle?

Tinpotspectator · 30/09/2021 09:02

@cameNanger My DD used to have a special blanket, a cellular one. By the time she was 3 it was reduced from a large cot size blanket to a bundle of threads, x 3. She had achieved this herself by pulling through the threads and she was quite happy with the (various) outcomes. Hope that's useful.

itsgrand · 30/09/2021 09:06

@cameNanger

you're amazing x

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