Experiences of taking breaks during the process and seeking therapy

[Jellyt0t]

Hi,

We are looking for some advice, we are going through stage 2 and have been advised to take a break, which we are happy to do and are wondering if anyone has any experience of returning to the process and being approved at panel?

There is a few areas that have come up to be explored. We are happy with all of the areas but feel we aren’t giving satisfactory responses as these appear to be having a negative impact on our SW and feel we are either not being clear or our SW doesn’t understand us as a couple.

We are thinking that although we are comfortable to talk about these areas ourselves, and with friends or family perhaps we need experience talking about these with a professional. Does anyone have any suggestions on someone to explore these areas with whilst on our break?

We thank you in advance for any responses.

We had a number of breaks in our process - there were health issues, job changes and bereavement issues which meant the process was much slower than it usually would be.

In your situation though I’d be asking what you need to be working on during the break, why is your sw suggesting a break at this point and what will be different when you restart.

In what way do you think you’re not being clear? Have you been given feedback that suggests your responses are being perceived negatively, has your sw identified areas they aren’t sure about or that they think might be problematic? Therapy can be very helpful if there’s an area you need to work on, a good therapist will also reflect how you’re coming across (eg if the therapist experiences you as being defensive or avoidant, or as maybe not seeing the wider impact of something you’re saying), therapy is not an easy process but can be very worthwhile.

I’d spend some time thinking about what the break is meant to achieve, and go from there - talk to your sw and get clarity from them about what they need to see following a break and take thing from there.

We too a 3months break to explore counselling. We did it and then contacted our social worker again when we completed it. She was very happy, saying many people just give up. We then sailed through and were approved because we had proven ourselves.

Not in terms of needing or having counselling but we were asked to take a years break between stage 1 and 2. I had had cancer and had initially asked if I had to be clear for a certain amount of time before we could start the adoption process. We were told no, as long as I was healthy. Anyway after stage 1 the medical examiner said they would want me to be another year clear before we proceeded. We used that time to go on holidays, relax and save some more money. After 10 months I had another scan which showed all clear still so I reapproched our social worker and asked if we could start again and the medical examiner agreed. We completed stage 2 with no issues and approved at panel. 17 days later our son moved in (Foster to adopt). Rhisbqas nearly 5 years ago. The social worker should have given you the reasons for them wanting you to take a break so use the time to work on that and then when you're happy contact them again and update them and what you have done. We are just starting the process again now for a 2nd child