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Adoption

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Original poster

Please tell me about the moment you met your children x

18 replies

Bananahana · 19/06/2021 15:02

I’ll be meeting mine soon, sibling pair. Slightly older.

How did it go for you? What did you do/say? Anything to share most welcome!

OP posts:

MissMeowCat · 19/06/2021 17:26

Terrifying/nerve wracking super awkward as we were in a strangers house ( foster family were fab!) and then amazing when they came into the room!!

CharlieSays13 · 19/06/2021 17:35

We met our 3 nearly 3 years ago. Our middle child opened to door and shouted "mummy and daddy are here!" The most surreal, wonderful moment of our lives.

Our LOs foster carers had put in a lot of time and effort going through the transition photo albums we had made for them so they were familiar with how we looked. They all were comfortable about calling us mummy and daddy from the start and that was completely left to them to decide. Of course they didn't understand what it really meant, that came with time.

Ours were older too, 4, 5 and 6. They took care of starting all conversations, we just tried to keep up!

It's an amazing, scaring, overwhelming and very tiring time for everyone but it'll be grand. Good luck

Mightywease · 19/06/2021 17:51

We meet our DS at his foster careers house accompanied by his SW.

I just remember a round of introductions and then there was this small 3 and a 1/2 year old looking at us slightly shyly and slightly expectantly.

That first day was all a bit of whirl really and has kind of blurred into one but the two weeks (too long, should have been less) was wonderful, nerve wracking and exhausting.

Nearly 6 years in and he's currently moaning 'cos he can't play Minecraft while zooming his mate as the football is on

Mightywease · 19/06/2021 17:55

What I would advise is rest as much as you can. It's emotionally exhausting. Take time to relax.

Also maybe do something just for you. We had one day 'off' during introductions and we went for a lovely meal and spent a bit of time just the two of us. It may be a while before you get the chance again, and I do mean that in a good, positive way

Original poster

Bananahana · 19/06/2021 19:09

What gorgeous stories! I’m smiling reading each one, thank you all x

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Adoptodad · 19/06/2021 19:41

When the door opened our LO crawled up to us. LO was around 12 months old.

Mummy asked the social worker in a nervous voice Can I pick them up She said of course and that was it we became a family.

Love at first sight.

We tell our LO this story most nights when they asked for it even a few years on.

AncientEmo · 19/06/2021 20:05

We had a bump in visit with him and foster carers on his first birthday (2 weeks before intros started). I remember watching them pull up and getting out the car and thinking "wow there he is!"

We brought him a present which he really liked, he sat on both our laps and pulled our glasses off! He was so warm and cuddly. He was very upset that he couldn't touch the burning candle on his cake 😂

I'm so happy we got to be there for his first birthday.

It's a magical but also very intense and quite strange experience.

2old2beamum · 19/06/2021 20:24

Oh gosh, wonderful memories flooding back. As some will know we have adopted many (8) over the years. All were so memorable but with J age5, who was deafblind and Cerebral palsy I disgraced myself. I had travelled up and met him on a Monday morning in the school foyer. He was just so beautiful I just burst into tears. It took me an hour for me to compose myself and the SW meeting to commence. Everybody but me were laughing. Enjoy and remember! X

Tereseta · 19/06/2021 20:36

Our LO was much younger at 3 months, we had gone round for an evening meeting with the Foster carers in preparation for our week introductions, our social worker knocked on the door so loud and woke her up "accidently". So our first meeting was unplanned and we were just in love and terrified in equal measure. We have a photo of that moment on the wall of our landing and we talk to our dd 4 about the first time we met when we look at it.
Good luck for yours and take extra care of yourself as it is an emotionally draining experience

Yolande7 · 19/06/2021 21:23

Our's were 5 and 6 at the time. The 6 year old shouted "Mummy" and flew into my arms. I could hear her fast little breaths near my ear. The first thing our 5 year said was "I don't like baked beans!". We then sat on the sofa, each with a child on our lap. They inspected us very closely. Soon the 5 year old asked me, if I was gonna kiss her. When I did, she giggled slightly embarassed but happy and sweetly. They then showed off every skill they had: read words to us, dressed up, balanced things. They were so adorable!

SimonJT · 19/06/2021 22:02

Mine was different, I’m a member of the birth family, I hadn’t met him before but I was considered suitable as a short term placement before he either went back to birth mum or into foster care.

So I didn’t have that big moment, as I was just going into it as a gloried babysitter for what was meant to be upto a maximum of four weeks. Four and a half years later and they still haven’t collected him! I remember thinking he was really small, I thought an eighteen month old would be bigger and more advanced. I phoned my friends mum, who is essentially the closest thing I have to a parent and she drove 2.5 hours to come to my house as she rightly didn’t trust me with him. She stayed with us for the first two weeks, we wouldn’t have survived that without her, shes amazing.

It will be odd having that intention first meet etc when number two eventually comes along, in a way I think ignorance is bliss as I was spared so many stresses and worries by not having that build up. But it also meant the first six months were a disaster as I didn’t have a clue what I was doing.

MeAndHimAndHer · 20/06/2021 23:51

We were meeting with sw for a pre-meeting-child meeting. Fc was due to attend alone but she mistakenly brought lo with her.

We went into waiting area and sat next to this woman with a pushchair. Chatted and realised she was fc and pushchair was lo!
I kneeled in front of pushchair and she woke up (14 months old) saw me and said “mama”. It was unreal. Fc had been showing our photos and told her where they were going.
Oh and I think it was some weird coincidence but we still have this amazing story that her first word to us was mama.
Then we all went into the meeting where I never heard a word and sw was annoyed because lo was there and I couldn’t not just stare at her

Allington · 23/06/2021 10:40

DDs came for 48 hours as there was nowhere else to go. The first evening DD1 asked me if I had children, and when I said I didn't said 'DD2 and I will be your children'

I changed the subject as I didn't want her to feel rejected, but this was only going to be for 48 hours...

That was 11 years ago over 2,000 '48 hours'

lilymty · 23/06/2021 13:59

Our lo was 9 months old when we met her. We walked in & she was smiling away on sw lap. She handed her to my dh for a cuddle & when it was my turn she cried to go back to daddy. We had given her a Teddy with our voices in & she had been pressing my dh over & over again. She followed his voice where ever he went. Shes been a daddy girl ever since.

gabsdot45 · 24/06/2021 14:12

The first time we met DS he was 5months old. We had travelled to a city in Siberia and that day had driven 4 hours to the orphanage. We were so tired and over wrought with stress. There were a lot of people in the room.. He was really tiny, he weighed about 7lbs. I couldn't believe it. I picked him up and he was like a new born but very alert and so beautiful. We both fell in love with him within minutes.

Meeting DD was similar, another trip to Russia but we were much less stressed out as we had DS at home.
She was 2.5 and we had seen a photo of her. My first thoughts were that she was much bigger than I'd expected, with very long legs and she had a big bruise on her forehead. She was very nervous but she came to us for cuddles. We visited her for a couple of hours and then left and came back that afternoon. They told that she had been very proud when she went back to her room telling the other children that she was getting a mama and papa. Bonding took a lot longer with DD. It was probably about 2 years before I felt totally attached to her.

DS is 17 now and DD is 13. They're great kids. I can't imagine life without them.

Tereseta · 25/06/2021 11:49

I'm loving these stories of us meeting our amazing children, not going to lie, have a lump in my throat reading them

Niffler75 · 25/06/2021 21:37

Our boy was never shy! He was waiting with his face squished at the window waiting for our car to pull up. He ran to the front door nearly mowing down his FC in the process. It was 'mummy, daddy! Come in and play!' That was that! He was 3 and he is now 10, and is still not shy! 😂

Original poster

Bananahana · 27/06/2021 18:46

I’m loving this thread, it’s such an emotional time. I think we have a 3 week wait, but we’ve waited nearly a year so….

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