Children looking for adoptive families

[Whatthechicken]

Anyone else feel really uncomfortable with a current story running in the mainstream press about a specific child? I know this child deserves a family, but is this really the way to go? A celebrity has now got involved and it all feels very icky. Everyone is being very quick to virtue signal with no real understanding of the complexities and seemingly armed with so much misunderstanding and misinformation about adoption. Maybe my concern is misplaced, but I don’t think this approach feels right.

[MarmiteChocolate]

Do you mean the little girl with disabilities, who the charming Katie Price has said she would love to adopt?
I think the chances of KP being approved are minimal.... Stable and enduring relationship? Nope. Financial security? Nope. Time to dedicate to the child? Nope. Finished fertility treatment or accepted not conceiving? Nope, still giving interviews about how much she is trying to get pregnant with the latest boyfriend.

[Whatthechicken]

Yes, that lovely little girl. I know authorities have made public appeals about particular children before (I remember one from a few years ago - a sibling group of four I think), I have no idea if those were successful or not, but I’m sure those campaigns brought more potential adopters forward as a by product. I’m just wondering about the ethics of it all. That little girl clearly needs a lot of specialist care and parenting and I think the authority have now opened a whole can of worms. I know the celeb wouldn’t be likely to be accepted, but the public wouldn’t necessarily know/or want to understand why - because everyone just wants a happy ending. The story/appeal now feels like it will turn into a huge circus with the public crying ‘but she’s an excellent mother, why shouldn’t she adopt?’ It feels like this girls story is now public/press property, with everyone (informed or not), making their own judgements, does the end justify the means?

[Bananahana]

I assume their desperate

[Dithercats]

There has been over 50 applications for the little one. It was last chance saloon for her.
No idea if that makes it right or wrong, but she's a ward of the courts and permission was given to 'advertise' to find a family.
I hope she finds one.

[Whatthechicken]

I absolutely hope so too. I hope that even those that are not successful for this child, carry on their application for other children. I hope that the authority use the publicity that the celeb has brought to improve education around the topic. I was really just curious around the ethics, because it doesn’t feel quite right - but then linkmaker felt a bit weird to me at first...maybe the end does justify the means, if it ensures this precious little girl gets the family she deserves. I do think the celeb has complicated matters somewhat - but again if the authority is savvy they will delicately use the opportunity to educate.

[Ted27]

I wonder how many of those applicants are approved adopters.

I have seen a few of these adverts before, and some people may remember the dreadful National Adoption Week parade of cute children on Good Morning Britain or whatever it was called then.

Its difficult, I hope she at least gets a family out of this.

[Whatthechicken]

Exactly Ted, I know it may be for the greater good, but it just sits so uneasy.

[x2boys]

I have seen this the child has a rare chromosome disorders I think and complex disabilities,my son has a rare chromosome deletion,and his disabilities are also very complex ,tbf Katie price probably has more of an idea about disability,and raising child with disabilities than most people because of Harvey ,I hope the little girl does find a family ,I'm not an adopter ,but the virtue signallers need to realise ,that this child won't always be small and cute ,it's incredibly challenging as a parent , particularly as the child gets older ,and bigger and more agressive etc .

[Allington]

Y'know what, adoptive parents do - on the whole - realise that those cute kids can be quite difficult to parent as they get bigger and older. But we can still be concerned about the degree of privacy that a child should had. Are those coming forward from publicity genuinely good candidates to adopt a child with complex needs?

[gordongrumpy]

I haven't seen the "advertised child", and do dislike adoption week etc where children are paraded, it's grotesque.

I also question the motivation- work complex needs and no adopters in the offing, would this child not be well cared for by expert long term foster carers, with regular medicals and LAC meetings ensuring her complex needs are being met by all agencies? I wonder what could be motivating the local authority to look for adopters? (Who don't typically get paid, and typically the LA can walk away from...)

Hmmm?

[Ted27]

@gordongrumpy

But there is also a chronic shortage of foster carers.
Anyone who adopts this child though would be daft to do so without a package of support including adoption allowances. Still cheaper than FC but not without cost.

[gordongrumpy]

Very true, re shortage of foster carers.

[Ted27]

@x2boys

Katie Price was indeed very impressive in her recent documentary.

However, and trying very hard not to sound judgemental, she has had several husbands, bankrupcy, cocaine addiction and a recent disabling injury. She has several other children in the picture.

I can’t see any other non celeb adopter getting through approval with her track record. She won’t get through and she shouldn’t.

Her children do not seem to me to have a stable life. If you want to put your birth children through that, its your decision but you couldnt place a child from the care system into that environment.

Im not sure who you see as the virtue signallers ?

[Allington]

It would be interesting to see why people coming forward after the advertisement were not applying to become adoptive parents before. Does it attract suitable people? If so, what stops them applying to adopt?

If it is lack of support, do LAs need to think seriously about the long term costs of cutting support to adoptive parents?

The crazy thing is, whatever the cost of therapeutic input, respite, or whatever adoptive families need (let alone the long term costs of untreated trauma) it is nothing compared to specialist care if a placement breaks down.

A stitch in time etc

Though the austerity cut backs give little room for choice and prevention

[x2boys]

@Allington

Y'know what, adoptive parents do - on the whole - realise that those cute kids can be quite difficult to parent as they get bigger and older. But we can still be concerned about the degree of privacy that a child should had. Are those coming forward from publicity genuinely good candidates to adopt a child with complex needs?

Sorry I was talking from my own perspective really ,the older my son gets and the bigger he gets the more demanding he gets ,we don't get the aw isn't he cute looks we got when he was three,people are less understanding sometimes when an older child is displaying challenging behaviour ime

[BarbarianMum]

I'm always dubious of the la motives when trying to get severely disabled children adopted. Not that they dont deserve a forever family but I do wonder how much ongoing financial support their new parents get, and how often they are literally left "holding the baby" when the much needed support never materialises.

[flapjackfairy]

I have an adopted child with complex needs
v similar to this little girl. And a long term fc who also has complex needs and challenging behaviour. He has been with us his whole life but for complex reasons we have never been able to adopt him.
I have actually looked at this little ones profile as well as another child on the same sites as I would love to adopt again. And that was before the media campaign began.
I agree that people will be applying with little idea of what is involved and despite many enquiries it is likely to be hard going to find a good match .
But as others have said she will still likely find specialist carers who will give her a stable life even if she isnt officially adopted. Our ltfc is as much a part of our family as our birth and adopted children so I do think the message that she is destined for a dismal life if adopters are not found imminently is manipulative.
Also there are other children in this project that have been waiting much longer so it is strange that this one child has been highlighted .
Also I agree that people are v understanding when children are little and cute but once they are aggressive teenagers peoples reactions are v different .