Adoption query -some advice before starting

[KEALING]

1. I am a single person of Asian origin and I'd like to adopt a girl, or girls (two siblings.) Is this fine ? Also how is matching carried out based on ethnic origins ? Is this discussed in the assessment process in Stage 2 ?

1. I have limited extended family support as mum is elderly and has a disability but nothing serious, lives in a sheltered home locally. I have about three to four family friends locally who have children and can help me if there is an emergency etc. Also, I'd have to work full time / part -time depending on the outcome of the adoption- is this fine ?

thanks !

I can help with some of those questions if you like.
Ethnic match - is a big priority for a social worker after you have been approved as they would want the child or children to have a sense of belonging. They will discuss with you the options around a child who doesn't have the exact match. For example I am black Caribbean and the child could possibly be black African.

Support- the social worker will eek this out with you. If you needed physical or emotional support who would you call? If you don't have many family members what's your friendships availability? Does any of them have kids who you could ask parenting advice from etc.

There's a good few experienced adopters here, but as a social worker those are the questions I would be asking.

A couple of things I’d add, really think about your gender preferences and why you have a preference for girls, I’d want to explore that to understand why girls because it can sometimes highlight unrealistic expectations about adoption.

In terms of working, most children adopted in the U.K. come with some form of additional needs. These exist on a wide spectrum, some cope well with school and childcare and some really don’t, you may need time off for professional meetings, medical appointments and therapy appointments- could you do that working full time? I’d go into the process thinking about how flexible you can be with work if need be, eg could you work part time, compressed hours etc if you needed to? I think full time work with two children and limited support would be hard going - not impossible - and your support network will change once you have children so try not to worry, but start thinking contingency planning just now just in case.

Hello
(1) Yes I am building a support network now by spoking to 3 close friends with children who live locally on my plans to adopt
In terms of wanting a gender preference of girls, its just that I do not have a male role model in the family present ie there is no brother or partner and will be a single parent
Most friends are women with kids hence the reasoning for the gender preference
(2) Also about the ethnicity - I am Asian and will be open to working with the SW to be matched to mixed race ie Pakistani, Indian mixed and Bangladesh, Chinese as well. - Is this fine ? Or will I get a grilling for this ?
(3) I can work part-time for sure and hope that my support network grows when the children are with me as will be meeting other parents at nurseries etc and also plan to hire a nanny - this is fine ?

All sounds good to me - good luck

I'm a single adopter and my own preference was for girls. I don't think there's a huge issue with that. Girls are generally considered easier to place than boys though, I understand, so you might have a slightly longer wait.
Your support network sounds OK to me. It's quality rather than quantity that counts as along the way you'll probably make friends with other adopters. I think having someone who could take the kids if you were ill and someone you can call when you've had a bad day and need a shoulder to cry on, or who can give you a break for a couple of hours is important. You'd also need to identify someone who could take the children into their own family in the event of your death.
I would be wary of mentioning hiring a nanny. A lot of adopted children have attachment problems, and children's services will need to see that you will be the primary carer.
Adoption leave is broadly similar to maternity leave. I was a police civilian and was able to take about 15 months off - I forget the exact details now but I think it was three months at full pay, three months at half pay, three months at statutory adoption pay, and then three months unpaid leave. Plus annual leave accrues over that period. It would be worth checking out your company's policy on that now.
You may be able to get an adoption allowance from the local authority. I also claimed carer's allowance and disability living allowance for my daughters for some years, due to their behavioural and emotional problems.
Good luck and shout if you have any more questions.

Hello

Can I ask what type of financial background checks are carried out in Stage 1 - do they need 1 years worth of bank statements ?
Also does the SW contact the HR department at my current workplace in Stage 1 ?