Adopting with a history of casual drug use

[Dillfordinner]

Hello,

We’re at the first stage of our adoption application and the self declaration health form asks about any use of illegal drugs and I just wondered if anyone has any experience with this.
I’ve never been drug dependent or a massive drug user but I’ve certainly dabbled with use of the standard recreational drugs in my younger years. It’s not something I’m ashamed of but I’m worried about how concerned social workers will be if DH and I both declare that we ‘used drugs’ in the past.
If anyone has any experience of this I’d really appreciate hearing about it.

Would you declare it in a job interview?

Do you have a police record for it?

Is one of your referees going to mention it?

Do you have a police or medical record for it ?

How will you approach it with children whose birth parents lost custody due to their drug use and/or who were born addicted? With teenagers who have a drug problem?

@womanity

Would you declare it in a job interview?

Do you have a police record for it?

Is one of your referees going to mention it?

I wouldn’t declare it in a job interview but then I wouldn’t be asked.

No police record, no problematic circumstances around it at all.

I highly doubt any of my referees would mention it, it’s not something I’ve done in years and was never a big part of my life.

@Hammyhamster92

Do you have a police or medical record for it ?

No not at all! It was never a problem, just the odd big night out in my youth.

If it is historical I would not declare it.
Strictly speaking you should declare it and it could go either way. It may go against you or it may put you in good stead for empathetic reasons but I wouldn't chance it.

The same applied to my partner. Like you describe nothing problematic or that resulted in any kind of impact on his life but some cannabis and cocaine use in his late teens/early 20s. While I'm not cavalier about it, I'm an ex drug and alcohol worker and have quite a nuanced view of these things and from what I've seen of society recreational use is far more common in people's histories than I think most people realise.

We chose to be honest. We got to the stage 2 section where they spoke about childhood youth etc and one of the workbook questions which we then discussed alluded to any dabbling in the past so we acknowledged it and we found that they had a very mature approach to it. There is obviously a lot.more context and a spectrum to drug use than simply addiction (which perhaps goes against Social perceptions) and I think our social worker was good at being balanced about it. For us it meant a conversation about how this has then translated into our attitudes about recreational use when our child is a teenager, how we would discuss substances with them, and an acknowledgement of the complexities around even recreational use for a child who has been drug or alcohol exposed or had problematic substance use within their birth history. It may have been helpful that I could show a good level of reflection and actual knowledge due to my job around it but our experience throughout with a lot of these things was it was just another thing to reflect on and it mattered more that we could articulate and reflect about it. That of course depends on a social worker and agency who understand the nature of drug use in a more nuanced way (I think you'd be surprised at how many would given the work they do). I'd always advocate honesty if you can and obviously everything I've said would.be very different if you'd described an addiction history

Thank you everyone for your responses.

I’m still not sure what we will do but it’s very helpful to have some different perspectives to take into consideration.

@veejayteekay

The same applied to my partner. Like you describe nothing problematic or that resulted in any kind of impact on his life but some cannabis and cocaine use in his late teens/early 20s. While I'm not cavalier about it, I'm an ex drug and alcohol worker and have quite a nuanced view of these things and from what I've seen of society recreational use is far more common in people's histories than I think most people realise.

We chose to be honest. We got to the stage 2 section where they spoke about childhood youth etc and one of the workbook questions which we then discussed alluded to any dabbling in the past so we acknowledged it and we found that they had a very mature approach to it. There is obviously a lot.more context and a spectrum to drug use than simply addiction (which perhaps goes against Social perceptions) and I think our social worker was good at being balanced about it. For us it meant a conversation about how this has then translated into our attitudes about recreational use when our child is a teenager, how we would discuss substances with them, and an acknowledgement of the complexities around even recreational use for a child who has been drug or alcohol exposed or had problematic substance use within their birth history. It may have been helpful that I could show a good level of reflection and actual knowledge due to my job around it but our experience throughout with a lot of these things was it was just another thing to reflect on and it mattered more that we could articulate and reflect about it. That of course depends on a social worker and agency who understand the nature of drug use in a more nuanced way (I think you'd be surprised at how many would given the work they do). I'd always advocate honesty if you can and obviously everything I've said would.be very different if you'd described an addiction history

Thanks so much for taking the time to post.

Your point on recreational use being far more common than people think is exactly why I feel compelled to be honest. And hearing that your social worker was balanced about it is certainly encouraging.

I am in a similar position to you OP, with a history of drug use in my late teens and early 20s. We’re currently trying to get accepted with our local agency. During all the preliminary interviews with SWs we were told that my historic drug use wouldn’t be an issue and it showed that I could overcome difficulties, and would be able to have empathy for birth parents. However, when we sent in our Registration of Interest we got a new social worker who told us that my drug use showed I wouldn’t be able to handle adoption, and that the child’s social worker would reject us out of hand so we would never be matched with a child even if we got approved. At the moment they’re refusing to accept us onto stage 1.

I would be really careful about disclosing any information about previous drug use, given my own experience. If you can be sure that you won’t slip up and mention it, and that your referees won’t mention it either, then it would be wise to keep it to yourself. Some social workers understand that people use drugs casually for short periods in their youth without ending up as junkies, but others don’t see that distinction and lump everyone in together. You don’t know how worldly and sensible your social worker will be, so be careful.

Unfortunately my drug use is mentioned in my medical records so I had no option but to disclose it, despite it being 25 years ago.

I was the same as your partner, did recreational drugs at weekends in my late teens and 20's, nothing that I 'needed' to do, it was there and I did, but was never an addict. My husband has never taken drugs.
On the form I did wonder whether to put it down, a friend who adopted said she did and was fine, and they even said if the child/children had issues in the future she could use this experience, but I just didn't want to take the risk of it being an issue when it isn't something I've done for 15-20 years.

I wouldn't risk it.
Don't put it on the form - if SW have never been part of the recreational drug culture and don't know how widespread and comparable to the drinking culture in this country then they can't understand it's a fairly harmless habit that most of us only do before we grow up and settle down.
People can be very puritanical about drugs.

Tbh I wouldn't risk it either. It just isn't worth it. They don't need to know. They can make such a huge deal out of tiny enough things I definitely would not open this pandora's box. There's no way they will find out unless you tell them and it makes no real difference to your ability to parent now so wheras I believe in being transparent with sw's this is something I wouldn't go there with

I have a similar recreational drug use history. I chose to downplay it massively and only mentioned cannabis use (as opposed to lots of other things). Our social worker was fine and saw it as a positive. However, I chose to downplay it as some friends who were clubbers, disclosed their usage and social worker was fine but later some they were almost refused at panel.

I think it is best to treat the process like a job interview. Whilst you know it will be a beneficial experience when you are a parent, not everyone sees that.

I'm not sure if you will still be reading this but I would complain about this social worker. This demonstrates poor social work values as this person is being judgemental. As a social worker myself I'm embarrassed by this person allowing their own values and is abusing their power as an assessor to make these decisions, which is ultimately a decision made by a panel.

Unless there is something you're not telling us then I think that you being honest and having an understanding about the pull and desire that can encourage drug use and also a resilience to overcome that.

I'd be interested to know whether you went on with your application.

For anyone else I would say to lie would look far worse on a application.