thinking of adopting but havent a clue about it.......

[rosebud1980]

i have said i would always love to adopt in the future. I was hoping to have a boy and girl and then adopt a third of either sex. We have a bio 3year old boy and another on the way and was wondering instead of trying for a third to concieve a girl what the possibilities were of adopting one. Am i able to have preference for a certain sex/age? And how long can the process take? We are a white family in our mid-twenties.

hi rosebud

why do you want to adopt rather than have another bio child?

i just think theres alot of children out there in need of a good home and that myself and my husband would love to welcome a child who's perhaps had a difficult start in life into our home and to be part of our family. Ive experienced pregnancy and birth of having my own bio children but at the end of the day a child is a child and they all need the same things love, support and stability. It doesnt have to be a baby although i would like to have a girl just because i will have two boys already.

the answer to your questions would depend on many things: what council you live in, what children are availble for adoption, what degree of special needs you might be prepared to take on.

Your age and the fact that you have proven parenting skills would work for you in most areas, the fact that you are white and will need a baby (under two, unless you are prepared to wait for a very long time!) will count against you. Some councils priortise couples with no existing children, others prefer proven parenting skills.

There is no predictable time frame - my guess would be that about average would be 2-4 years beginning to end. I beleive some people will have done it quicker than that but not many.

You should be approved (ie accepted by your local counci l as prospective adoptive parents) within a year but matching a child with you can be unpredictable and very dependent on the social workers of each child who falls within what you have been approved for and what they are ideally looking for.

I would suggest that you start by contacting your local council as most has information evenings and should be able to give you more infomration.

sorry I say you will need a baby (which considered to be under two) because most councils will expect a minimum 2 yr gap between your youngest child and your new child being adopted, some expect 3 year gap.

rosebud - you are right , there are many children in care waiting for a family. however, most of these children are school aged, or have special needs or are in sibling groups and many are black or of mixed heritage and awaiting a family who reflect this

If you feel that you could parent a child like this then adoption may well be for you, at some time in the future. however, as KC says, you will need to have an age gap of several years between your youngest child and the child you adopt. This is so you can give the new child enough attention.

yes it woudl be possible for you to be approved to adopt a girl, or even a sibling group of several girls!

however, there is a long LONG list of couples already approved and waiting to adopt young white healthy toddlers and babies ( boys and girls). you will understand that adoption agencies will probably give priority to families who cannot have bio kids, so you are unlikely to find an agency willing to even accept an application from you for a NT baby or toddler.basically its pointless for them to spend time preparing you and approving you when there is no chance of you having a child placed with you.

have you thought about doing soem voluntary work with children? This would be good experience if you did decide to adopt later

Good luck with your pregnancy