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Adoption

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Original poster

Introductions advice

14 replies

Wattlebird · 06/03/2021 18:58

We will be starting introductions in the next few weeks! He is 22 months old and just absolutely perfect! He has a really good attachment to foster carer who he has been with over a year and is a bit shy around new people.

Does anyone have any suggestions of anything we can bring or anything we should do in those initial days of introductions when things might be a little bit less relaxed? All we’ve come up with is taking some bubbles as an ice breaker/less intense way to engage him in play.

OP posts:

Newpuppymummy · 06/03/2021 21:35

Find out what he likes (toys/favourite characters/songs) and incorporate these into your plans.
Ask FC to have your family book out and look at it as often as possible.

organicapricot · 06/03/2021 22:09

We did a little photo board book www.photobox.co.uk/shop/photo-books/my-first-photo-book
With pictures of a cuddly toy that we had given our DD doing various things around our house like having a bath, playing with toys, reading books etc. Her FC read it to her on the run up to placement. She loved it and still gets out the toy and book regularly. Good luck with intros and welcoming your LO x

Fakinit03 · 06/03/2021 22:11

Have you had any bump into meetings? We start intros on Monday but have met her 4 times for a couple of hours at a time and I'm not nervous for intros at all now. We've also developed a really good relationship with Foster carer now!

Original poster

Wattlebird · 06/03/2021 22:24

We’ve had one bump into but that’s it now until introductions start. We’ve made a family book with a photo album that records your voice so he’ll be hearing our voice and seeing photos of us/his new house/pets etc! We have life appreciation day next week so hopefully we can ask a few more introduction type questions then!

OP posts:

Fakinit03 · 06/03/2021 22:28

I would definitely ask for more meetings. We had one suggested by our sw, they suggested we did a few video calls during isolation week (this week) but both us and the Foster carer agreed we wouldn't get much out of it lo is only 13 months so we agreed between ourselves for more meet ups and sws agreed. We've had 4 now! Are you in touch with the Foster carer? We WhatsApp daily and it's really helped build a relationship!

Fakinit03 · 06/03/2021 22:29

Apart from that bubbles are a great idea. Also stickers, food and maybe some trips to the park!!

Patchyman1 · 06/03/2021 23:03

We had some A4 size photos of us, pets, house etc to leave at FC house as our boys were quite young and looked at those more than books. FC left them scattered around house during intros so our faces were always there. We had a transition cuddley toy for each which was in all the photos which we left with the boys at first meeting. We slept with blankets so they smelled of us and left them with FC and boys slept with them to get used to our smell!

RoomForMore · 07/03/2021 07:22

Some great ideas here. Hopefully his foster carer will be a bit experienced in introductions and will give you advice and encouragement on what to do with him. Ours was fantastic and would have toys out ready and after day 1 she would leave the room for small periods of time to let us play with DD without being watched, but so that DD knew she was close by.

Jacketpandbeans · 07/03/2021 22:19

How about a video call or prerecorded video of you reading a story? FC could play it to your little one beforehand and then you could take the same story to intros. If you choose a story that lends itself to props / toys you could take those along too when you meet.

Italiangreyhound · 08/03/2021 00:17

Our son was 3 almost 4 so these ideas we did may not be relevant but...

We bought a small new blanket with a character on and his name and date of birtg. I washed it in the usual powder we used. Then I slept with it inside my pyjamas for a couple of days so it smelled of me.

We made a photo book with pictures of a cuddly toy. It was a talking photo book. We made a version for the social workers so the battery did not run down

Our dd made a dvd of local things like the school she went to - which he ended up going to.

We sent the book, blanket and dvd ahead via social worker.

We took the toy on the day.

We are made a scrap book and I think we took that fairy early on. It had things like his favourite cartoon in it plus pictures of things we knew he liked to do.

Our dd bought him a toy and we too that when she met first him a couple of days later.

We also got him a toy when he moved in on the first day after intros.

Hope some of that helps

Three toys is a lot for a baby but for our little boy it seemed appropriate. Everything was soft toys, sensory etc.

Good luck.

Giovanna1712 · 13/03/2021 07:14

Wattlebird exciting times for you, congratulations. :) Where did you get the photo book you could record your voices on please?

And Fakinit, did you have to have permission to be in contact with FC like that? I think our FC would be really open to being flexible and creative around contact but the SWs would be resistant, just wondered how yours was agreed.

comehomemax · 13/03/2021 16:07

Don’t forget to prepare for day to day practicalities. Stock up on easy meals for you - we struggled with the normality of dinner times at home after the heightened emotions of intros during the day. Meals, snacks, water bottles in the car etc were so helpful for us.

Fakinit03 · 13/03/2021 17:50

@Giovanna1712 the sw gave fc my number to send videos as we were missing her first birthday but they never said how much or little contact we were allowed so we just decided for ourselves, we've been honest about it and they've never said they disagreed and it really has been so helpful

Giovanna1712 · 14/03/2021 03:25

@Fakinit03, thank you; I have the FC number too and vice versa from one video contact they allowed (at Christmas, we were made to miss first birthday :( ) the expectation is that we are not allowed to make contact with each other when it's not arranged and supervised by one of them though; it's absolutely ridiculous IMO. I even have to have a formal meeting with SW and FC even though I've met them both face to face already. Insane, and in my opinion unnecessary, bureaucracy. Am glad it's not across the board and is just poor in my area.

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