Needing some support and advice - tracing bm

[jofeb04]

Hiya,
I've mentioned on here about searching for my bd, and have addresses (the same one actually!) from some lovely mn-ers.

Been in contact with the SS Team who were dealing with the search, but have't heard anything from them for about two months.

So...I am thinking of writting a letter, along the lines of " I think I know you, was born at ..... on (my birthday)" etc.

Is this ok. Also, very very nervous about telling my parents, I have known all my life about being adopted, but I know they will be upset.

I'm really scared... if that makes sense to any of you.

Thanks

opps....bm, not bd

I am an adoptive parent (but just of tiny children atm) I hope your parents would not be upset, I guess they know you would want to find your bp's one day - it's a completely reasonable thing to do. you may find they are not that surprised and won't take it as a criticism or disloyalty. What do you think will upset them? good luck however you play it.

Again a Mum to 2 daughters adopted a while back - they are now at secondary school. We have always said that we hoped if they did want to search for BPs we would like to think we could be available to support them through the process. (Would hate to think that they waited as many people who have been adopted do until their parents died) I think most people who adopt know that this is a real possibility and whilst I'm sure that if/when my time comes I won't be deeply affected by it all I do think I'd be pleased to think that some of the gaps in their knowledge about their origins had been filled. I would be concerned though, hoping that DDs were going to get a happy/fulfilling outcome and not get hurt in the process.
It sounds as though you have an address for your BM? Is it poss for you to get back to your SS team - hopefully they have experience and may be able to make some useful sugestions in phrasing the letter and checking a few things out for you. I think all the general advice to people in your position would be to not rush but take it at a pace you are comfortable with and take advantage of the guidance out there to those in your position. It is after all about what you want - as others have said on similar threads you did not have any choice when decisions were made about your future. I'm sure it takes courage though and I wish you all the best .