(Younger) adopting before ttc

[Kittynevill]

Hi guys, I've recently look at another thread on here about couple that have chose to adopt before ttc. My partner and I are thinking of adopting rather than ttc due to my health issues (multiple woman issues) but we aren't classed as infertile.

My question is;
we have been together for 2 and a half years, own our own home with a spare bedroom and are 24 (me) and 21 (him),
Is there any reason based on the above that would mean we would be frowned upon or grilled more so than anyone else?

Trying to find out as much as possible before we start our journey. Thanks

You meet the criteria on age and have the space so nothing there was prevent you from adopting. Social workers will want to discuss your decision not to ttc and ensure you are both happy with the decision but wouldn't put a stop to you adopting at all

Thank you, was just a little worried as I haven't heard any stories of early 20s who chose to adopt.

Hi Kittynevill. On paper, being 21 and 24 years old is not necessarily an issue to adopt, but it will all depend on your personal circumstances. In their early 20s, most people lack the financial and emotional stability and the life experience necessary to adopt. This is something that social workers will assess.

We were 22 and 23 when we started the process- 23 and 24 when our 2 boys came home. We were by far the youngest couple on our prep groups, but sw viewed it as positive- it was a first choice for us. Helped we were in very stable professional jobs so financially secure. We are now 6 years in and now have a 3yr old BC too. So glad we did it young- it is hard enough at our age, I cannot imagine being 20 years older!

its a an absolutely valid choice to adopt rather than trying to have a birth child.
Its very hard to say somethings without sounding patronising, which I honestly don’t mean to be, but you are very young, particularly your partner.

Adoption can be very tough, most children will have additional needs,.
Do lots of reasesrch about attachment, developmental trauma, ASD, ADHD, the reasons why children end up in care and needing new families. And then think about if you want to spend your 20s dealing with Social workers and battling to get the needs of your children met.

You also need to be practical, can you afford a year adoption leave, what happens if you can’t go back to work, what is your support network like.

Personally I would get out there, enjoy life, being young, free and come back to adoption in 5 years, a little older and a little wiser. Sadly there will still be children needing new families.
Good luck !

I always say a great place for research and support is Adoption UK :)

We chose to adopt rather than TTC.

We were older than you (31 and 33).

Yes, we were grilled about our choice throughout the process and through the second opinion interview.

Worked out ok in the end though.

@Ted27 thank you, I do understand what you mean.
We are quite fortunate with both sides in terms of support. Both me and my partner have family members with special needs and have worked in supporting children with special needs.
We also are available to have paid adoption leave, with flexible working upon return to work but we are prepared that one of us might have to change/quit jobs .
Financially wise we are very stable to support another person.

I appreciate you being honest , this is why I put the post up so I can gauge things that may come up or that I havent have thought of that I need to think of.

@Wickstead I had a feeling it would be that way but I'm glad it worked out for you in the end

@bunting1000 thanks, we agreed that we feel it's time to start our family and adoption has always been in discussion. Can I ask were your two boys siblings?

Yes they were. We got matched really quickly because they were considered a hard to place sibling group.

.
Bunting1000 experience shows that adopting young can work and be a good experience.

Remember that everyone here is just writing from their own perspective and you need to weigh everything up and decide what is best for you.

You send like you have a great deal to offer. Good luck on your adoption journey.

Thank you guys

@Kittynevill

Thank you, was just a little worried as I haven't heard any stories of early 20s who chose to adopt.

A friend and his husband adopted in their twenties, they were 23 and 24 when their son was matched with them.

If there's any chance you may want BC in the future, it's usually advised to have them first. Obviously, it can work well for some families, but usually it's easier having the higher "needs" children be the younger children.

Hey, hubby and I were 25 when we started the process. We did attend an information evening a couple of years before that when we were 22/23 and were made to feel like we shouldn’t have been there, but that negative experience made us even more determined.

We are now 28/29 with a lively three year old and (hopefully!) a full birth sibling will be coming home in the next few months. As other people have said, make sure you do you research so you’re armed to answer any questions that are fired at you.

Good luck, it really is the most amazing thing!