Bump into meeting

[sjns]

Hello
We have just been asked to attend a bump into meeting this weekend ahead of our matching panel at the end of March
The little boy we will hopefully be adopting is 4yo.

We are meeting in a park for up to an hour and being introduced as a friend of the foster carer but that’s about all we have been told.

Just wondering if anyone has experienced these before and what kind of thing to expect

Possibly over thinking here but When I’ve looked it up, I’ve seen sometimes they are referred to as a chemistry meeting... but I’m worried perhaps the child is shy, we are nervous, what if the chemistry is not noticed by foster carer?

Any suggestions for excited but nervous new parents please!

[scully29]

I haven't done a bump into before so my advice is only on 4 year olds and something Id do would be to find out his absolute top favourite favourite tv show/character and wear that so you have a great first talking point and easy connection - ask if there is a character like that for them - spiderman/ hey dugee/ubercorn/ elsa &ana, whatever 4 year olds like these days! You could find a badge/sticker of them for your clothes or bag that kind of thing? Just an idea. Id also not be too full on and do expect them to be shy, and totally chat to the foster carer lots and lots while watching child play so they see you are to be trusted etc, and if chatting to them maybe get down to their level? Park is brilliant for fun swings etc to take pressure off. Also giant bubbles or bubbles could be fun maker for helping shyness maybe? But maybe ask foster carer first in case they hate them? Just some ideas.

[sjns]

Thank you so much for your response

Good idea about the stickers. I’m on the case now, thank goodness for Amazon prime. I’ve bought some bubbles too just in case

I completely agree about expecting him to be shy and will use his tv show as a taking point. It feels so exciting that this child we have read about for so long will now really be there in the flesh 😁

[SuperAunt08]

How exciting for you. My advice is don’t underestimate how much a child of that age might figure out, ours was a little different in that our chemistry meeting was in the foster carers home and we were to be introduced as friends popping in for a coffee. He was 5 at the time and had been having play therapy and the social workers were preparing him for the idea of a forever family and a new mummy and daddy. He twigged straight away that that’s why we were there. He was wary at first but we didn’t make a big deal of introducing ourselves and just chatted to the foster carers and could see him sussing us out and let him until he felt comfortable to come to us.

[Newpuppymummy]

I agree kids are not stupid and often know what’s happening. Don’t worry about the fc not picking up any chemistry. These meetings are really for you to get a feel for the child and whether you think you could parent them and want to proceed.