Adopting advice for newbie

[GPL123]

Hi. I am very new to this and a few years off of actually going through with it but have a few questions. I would be a single adopter, probably for a child age 3+, definitely not a baby. I have a few concerns that might hold me back and wondered if anyone had been through similar.

1. I am a teacher so am not sure how I could take time off for meetings/training (before being approved, I know you can get maternity leave when matched).
2. I teach in a primary school so have lots of experience plus I teach children with ASD so that also helps in terms of behaviour management etc. But I have little experience with children outside of this. One friend has a child and due another and I see them but never looked after them alone (this year obviously cannot). I worry that I do not have experience but I cannot get it whilst also teaching.
3. Support. I would be a single mum which I am fine with but I know support is really important. My parents would be in late 70's and I am very close to them and they live just down the road so would be here in 5 minutes to help but their age does limit them slightly. I have close friends and those I know I can all upon to support both me and LO but like I said before those friends do not have children themselves (at the moment). Do you think this would mean I wouldn't be accepted?
4. I love teaching and would obviously also need to work after LO was settled. The good thing is that I will always have time off during holidays and can fit things around me (planning etc). Any other teacher adopters out there? Was the sometimes long hours/uncertainty an issue when applying to adopt?

Sorry for the length of the message! Just don't want to get set (I am very obsessive, in a good way) and then find out it's a non-starter. Just wondering if anyone had similar situations, suggestions etc.
Thanks!

1. I am a teacher so am not sure how I could take time off for meetings/training (before being approved, I know you can get maternity leave when matched).

Teachers do adopt so it is possible. You could see if any of your teaching unions have info on their websites. Also local authorities and adoption agencies would hopefully be sympathetic to your work needs. They were to us and we are not teachers.

1. I teach in a primary school so have lots of experience plus I teach children with ASD so that also helps in terms of behaviour management etc. But I have little experience with children outside of this. One friend has a child and due another and I see them but never looked after them alone (this year obviously cannot). I worry that I do not have experience but I cannot get it whilst also teaching.

There's lots of talk of experience on other threads here, take a look. Ask if your teaching experience would be enough, I would imagine it would but you can ask.

1. Support. I would be a single mum which I am fine with but I know support is really important. My parents would be in late 70's and I am very close to them and they live just down the road so would be here in 5 minutes to help but their age does limit them slightly. I have close friends and those I know I can all upon to support both me and LO but like I said before those friends do not have children themselves (at the moment). Do you think this would mean I wouldn't be accepted?

No, it sounds like you have support and I would assume that is good. I would continue to build it as you prepare - think of it in all areas, who would bring a pint of milk if you had run out and could not get to the shops, who would chat to you on zoom, or by phone etc to give you support, who would look after your child if you were ill/in an emergency, your parents now but maybe later you'd need other friends to do it, and may well have them by then to do it, so don't stress too much.

I am not a teacher so will let someone else tackle number 4.

It's not a non-starter. You sound great.

4. I love teaching and would obviously also need to work after LO was settled. The good thing is that I will always have time off during holidays and can fit things around me (planning etc). Any other teacher adopters out there? Was the sometimes long hours/uncertainty an issue when applying to adopt?

I’m not a teacher but initially started the process when I was in a very demanding job with a lot of out of hours working.

The main things to consider would be whether your work is flexible enough - ie if your child was ill or had a lot of medical appointments how would you facilitate taking time that they needed. Similarly if your child couldn’t tolerate childcare settings eg after school care or struggled being at school themselves how might you manage that. It’s not the teaching itself, or having long hours (which many professions do), it’s the flexibility to meet the needs of a child who may really struggle with school and childcare and who may need you without much notice.

The holidays are a huge advantage, it’s the term time stuff you need to think about. Also think about whether you’d be able to drop hours if your child needed you to be at home.

Thank you both for your responses. Work wise I know you get one day paid leave if child ill etc and then unpaid. Work can be flexible if needed and I’m lucky in that where I work (and can’t see that changing) they are so supportive and always try to meet needs of parents but I completely get that this is hard and I hadn’t thought too much about term time so thanks for this. Definitely something to consider but I guess all jobs have similar issues regarding taking time off etc.

Thanks for your reassurances about support as that was something I’d worried about being a single adopter. That they wouldn’t think it was a lot as other than my parents I don’t have any relatives.

Thanks again. Any more advice or stories would be much appreciated.

I am a teacher and we have just adopted LO. They did ask about whether the long hours associated with teaching and whether that would impact on my ability to be there for LO, to which I honestly replied that - while teaching is a job I love - ultimately family is more important and spending time with LO would always take priority.

In terms of taking time off for the prep sessions etc, I would suggest just being totally honest with your Head. Mine was great and allowed me all the sessions off on full pay, even though he technically didn't have to. If your Head is difficult about it contact your union; they were very supportive of me throughout the process.

GPL123 are there any side-ways steps you can take which would enable you to work in a job you love but have more flexibility? Some kind of specialist work? Just asking because I am so lucky my job is incredibly flexible. I have two kids a birth child and an adopted child. My birth child has multiple issues and I have needed a lot of time for appointments etc.

I don't think teaching is going to be a huge issue if your child is fit and well but if there are issues the more flexibility the better. And the better pay if you are a single adopter!

Good luck.

I took unpaid leave for prep days. I think once you are matched you can have 5 days paid leave before your adoption leave starts. Our match fell during school hols so never made use of this.
Your Head will need to give the adoption agency a reference so it's worth talking things through with them and letting them know if you decide to pursue adoption. You may also want to consider asking them to keep it confidential until you are further along the line. The adoption process can be long, emotional and ultimately you may change your mind or not get approved. If you keep the fact you're applying just between yourself and your Head and maybe another trusted colleague, you won't have to be constantly answering questions about the process from others in school!

Thanks for the reply. I am lucky in that my school is very supportive. Good point about mentioning to keep it quiet (although not sure my head’s the best at that ha ha).