Post adoption depression

[DodoBaggins]

Hello all. I'm after some advice please.

We've had a little one placed with us for nearly a year now.

After some frank conversations with a number of professionals including ours and little ones social worker, it's clear that I'm either developing or have developed post adoption depression. (Or just "normal" depression, I'm not sure if you have to distinguish one from the other?)

I've already spoken to my GP and have help coming from there. But it might take a few weeks.

I was wondering whether there was anyone else who had gone through this and come out the other side? Are there any other things I can do to get help?

The SWs are being helpful to talk to but the only formal help I'm getting is through the GP.

I've been through it - and know a lot of adopters that have had their mental health affected to some extent by adoption.

The best advice I can give you is to go easy on yourself, try to get as much rest as possible, and take it step at a time.

Are there any practical tasks that someone else can do, and are there people who would help? Lower any standards of cooking from scratch, ironing clothes etc. Do you have anyone in your support network who might do you a load of laundry once a week for 6-8 weeks? That sort of thing.

It is possible to come through it, and reach a better place where you can enjoy being a parent, so hang on in.

I think I had some very mild depression early on. I didn',t really address it and it took s while to go. So by addressing it now you are totally doing the right thing.

I agree go easy on yourself. Find pleasure in small things and no high expectations.

I've been through it. It hit me 2 months after we completed our daughters adoption.
I had been through infertility plus the stress of 2 adoptions without getting depressed and when it was all over I just colappsed. I carried on for about 6 months and then I had to go to the doctor.
I had counselling and took lexepro for about a year. That was 10 years ago. I've been fine since
Definitely get treatment, you're ill.

Adoption UK had a webinar on it so you could watch the recorded one. They are generally so supportive in every way so if not a member do join, they do regular zoom meet ups for adopters so could be helpful for you to chat to others in similar position?

Thank you everyone for advice and commenting. I was thinking of calling adoption UK to see if they had any advice, so good to know they're helpful. I'll have a look at that webinar tonight.

It's very bizarre. I never thought of myself as someone who would suffer from depression. I can feel that I'm not acting or thinking like myself but I can't bring myself to act any differently. I feel like crying or shouting all the time. I try my hardest to reign it in during the day so I don't affect the kids. That's just becoming exhausting now. I feel like I look forward to bedtime so I can crash.

Another drs appointment tomorrow to discuss medication. I didn't want to go down that route but I can't see anything else that will help that I can get access to quickly.

Its good to know it's happened to others and what help they got.

The lady who took the adoption uk webinar is a fabulous women to link in with. She was a social worker, is an adopter herself and is now a trained counsellor who has carried out a lot of research is post adoption depression. I have recommended her to a few adopters and they have received counselling virtually from her specifically from a PAD perspective. They have found her very helpful. Link in with adoption uk to get her details.

Also, medication is really helpful while you get on other stuff like exercise etc, see it as a positive that you are getting help.

I can't seem to find the webinars on adoption UK. It must be me. Could anyone tell me where to find them?

I've found them! I feel like that was unnecessarily hard and hidden away though!

I've needed some Prozac. PAD is a specific "type" of depression, maybe a type of adjustment reaction, but drugs can certainly help.

I didn’t get depression but my anxiety levels went through the roof - which is how mental health difficulties show themselves for me. It’s a massive adjustment to make and very hard for non adopters to understand. Interestingly enough I too managed to keep on top of things until just about the year mark. Medication and therapy both helped enormously- I was back to my usual self witching a few weeks, I came off medication a year later and have been fine since.

Give yourself some recognition of what you’ve been through and take care of yourself.