Nursery

[AncientEmo]

Please tell me everything about your LOs in nursery!

Our son is about to turn 2 and is due to start nursery in April. He'll have been placed with us 12.5 months at the point of starting. I'm going back to the office work for 2 days a week (and 1 WFH but flexible hours and tbh I plan on doing very little on this WFH day)... We're going to start transitioning him ASAP but idk I'm just worried about him and coping and questioning whether I'm doing the right thing going back to work at all! It's been a huge ballache to get work to agree to 3 days so I'll definitely be burning a bridge if I back out now. We could survive without the extra money but affording stuff like unexpected bills, holidays and treats would be hard.

My son (2.5) is starting nursery in April so following with interest! He’s only been left with one other person for a couple of hours and has attachment / trauma behaviours which can result in him being quite anxious and then controlling. I need a long transition with the nursery but there will be covid restrictions in place and can’t plan with the nursery until closer to the time.

I’m not going back to work (part time) until September when he’ll get his 30 hours a week. I won’t get any meaningful work done with 15 hours and don’t want to start working and then have to stop if he’s going to need extra support from me (likely).

Hi there. I was in a v similar position to you a couple months back. My little boy was placed in the November 2019 at 13 months and then the pandemic hit in the march. He'd got to know some close family but we had been nowhere near the babysitting stage so he had no experience of being left in day care until we had to put him into nursery for 4 days a week recently at around 27 months. I was really worried about the effect on him and what it would mean. The reality to reassure you was yes realistically a couple of weeks that felt a little unsettled/stressy and then all was fine. Obviously each child is different and you'll know best what type of thing may be a trigger for them

My main advice is to do.trials/phased start. My nursery only ordinarily offer 2 X 2 hour trials before they start. I paid for some extra so he'd had 6 which I think really helped settle him in by making him familiar with the teachers and tasting the water of him being left.

I'll be honest and say that it didn't completely cover it seeing as he was going into so many hours a day but I do think it meant the drama at the beginning was reduced. You may want to look at starting him on half days and building up or whatever works best round your schedule.

In general id say prepare for them to be very tired (much more than you might think) after even a short.time at nursery. It's just so.kuch stimulation. After the 2 hour trials my little one was really grouchy or hyperactive despite being perfectly behaved actually at nursery! When you pick them up first few times try to have something calming afterwards helps. For me the walk home in the buggy gave some space to decompress. Talking up nursery as exciting and fun is good despite how you may be feeling yourself and really reinforcing you'll be back at end of day. I think it took.my son a little while to trust that I would.be coming back but once he got used to the routine he was fine

Clinginess, tantrums, extra whining, crying at drop off/pick up are all normal and I promise you won't last forever. I think just knowing that helps. My final tip would be to try to ensure says not spent at nursery are fairly low key with time for cuddles and nothing too.mega. Good luck.

One of mine coped much better with nursery than babysitters etc, because there was dropping off time, and picking up time, and all the children were dropped by their own adults, and collected by their own adults. Whereas babysitting is just them, and I might have left them all forever. So I wouldn't let not having left them with anyone else put you off trying nursery.

Thank you everyone that's very helpful :) we've chosen what looks like the perfect nursery and it's within walking distance so going to start him for a transition asap!

Did you find it helped with their speech and other skills?

After reading this, we've been talking it up and saying how much his cousin likes going so hopefully that'll help!

My little one has come on so much since being at nursery. We also have support form portage which kicked in at the exact same time so it's hard to know how much but they're probably both helping.

Finding the right nursery is huge. I'm really comfortable with mine. My eldest went there so we already know the staff and the routine. It's tiny with only 5 children a day. They have experience with adopted children. They also really support his development. For example we have a handover book where we list the portage activities and how well LO is doing / any concerns. I record any outcomes from specialist support e.g SALT and what nursery need to do to help. They'll review this, act on actions and then write feedback on how it has gone.

It already sounds like you are comfortable with your setting. Having one you can have honest conservations and they with you is critical.

That should obviously say conversations!

And any other typo I missed.

Why am I not in bed???

It's a worry but all kids cope differently with it. Mine went to nursery at a similar age. She had a really rocky start with it as we put her with a childminder initially and it really didn't work out and the poor girl was so miserable. However we then moved her to a nursery and she loves it. I could tell right away that they were so much better with her and the really reassuring bit was when I arrived to one of her taster sessions and she was sat on one of the worker's knees. She now has a lovely relationship with her keyworkers and little friends that she talks about and seeks out when she's there. She still whines a bit some days when she's getting ready for nursery but she loves it there and has come on lots being there. My advice would be to go with your gut about the nursery and if it doesn't feel right then don't be afraid to find another. And make the handovers nice and prompt. Look her in the eye and tell.jer you love her and that you're coming back soon then go. The right nursery will know to give her lots of cuddles and reassurance to help. Unfortunately these things have to be done. I didn't like leaving mine either but a year on and I really think it was right in the end xx