Expenses during intros

[AthenaMinerva]

Has anyone else not had their mileage expenses paid for intros? We had intros last month and when I enquired with the SW about how to claim our mileage she said "Oh, we don't pay mileage". Is this normal now? I never expected they wouldn't be paid so never thought to ask beforehand.

I had mine paid last year. First time I adopted I got a settling in allowance too but they don't give that any more.

Our expense and allowances entitlement was set out in the paperwork with our APR. Did you have anything in yours?

I know our LA have cut back on expenses abs settling in grants.

Expenses are usually agreed at matching or during the planning for intros - did they give you an indication that they would be paying mileage for intros, eg they’ve paid other expenses or paperwork that said expenses would be paid.

I’ve only heard of expenses for intros where placement is significantly out of area, eg needing overnight accommodation or as part of a wider financial package that was pre-agreed.

The LA gave us a debit card that they prepaid. They covered our hotel, parking etc. We could have claimed for dinner as well but really we were happy to be there.

I don't recall getting our mileage though but I am sure they would if we had asked. We did get our train fair for meeting the medical advisor and matching panel.

They didn't say they would be paying expenses but they equally didn't make it clear that we would be paying the petrol for nearly 500 miles of travel (all the daily journeys added together) out of our own pocket. All the info I've read so far suggests that travel expenses for adopters were paid for in the past. It seems wrong not to have made it clear to us. But, as usual, I understand it's my fault not to be fully aware of all the procedures that the social workers work to daily, when it is my first time going through it. Sorry to sound weary - just another reminder of how little we matter and how I should be grateful for any crumbs tossed our way. At least I've got a wonderful AC out of all the crap.

We got paid mileage after intros with AD. However, when we did intros with her brother 2 years ago (same LA) we were told after intros had finished that they don't pay mileage anymore. Our fault for assuming and not checking I suppose but it would have been a nice little nest egg for his bank account as we'd racked up over 600 miles.

We did get paid mileage but it was my understanding at the time its one of those things thats a bit discretionary depending on the agency, at the least they should have made it clear to you beforehand though xxx

If they are being cheap on the millage then make sure they are not being cheap on the legal fees should they be needed.

Our LA said they had not agreed to pay our legal fees after the adoption was contested.

We had a great agency who had this is writing so all was good. Barristers costs were eye-watering high. Speedboat money high.

We didn't ask and they didn't offer but ours was pretty local

We had to do 390 miles (45 mins each way) in total for intros, and assumed we would get mileage paid as they told us we could have a hotel paid for for the duration (which would have cost over £500!) but alas no!

We did get a passport before the AO was through, which they did pay for.

We had to do 14 bump in meetings in the park (long story) which involved a 1.5 hour drive each way. We were told from the start that we could claim parking and mileage.We ended up having to chase the LA for months for the (£0.19 p/m) which was quite annoying. They only paid after a review meeting where the IRO stepped in and told them to sort it out pronto.
Chasing money we really needed and were promised made us feel ungrateful if that makes sense.

Thanks everyone for your input. I've calmed down a bit about it and checked back on the paperwork. The APR only says they will reimburse the court fees i.e. we even have to pay that ourselves and claim it from the LA. Travel expenses are not mentioned at all. I think part of the problem is that our SW kept telling us to keep receipts for purchases in case there was a settling in grant (and DH thinks she said to keep a note of our mileage but I couldn't swear to that). So we didn't just make up the idea that there could be financial support with intros. But by the time the APR was finalised I think our SW should have made it clearer to us that there would be no payment of anything. Our SW is very nice but can be a bit non committal and repeats reassurances about things that may or may not happen. And of course the placing LA didn't mention not paying travel expenses as they know full well they don't (and haven't for 2 years now) so why mention it. I am glad I started this thread as hopefully prospective adopters will realise this is yet another thing you need to budget for. I feel we got away lightly actually as the SW said they only pay for accommodation if travel time is over an hour! That could be mean daily or twice daily 100 mile journeys if it's mostly motorway!

Maybe controversial..... In all honesty I have never understood why people feel entitled to claim expenses back for preparing for their child or doing introductions. Prospective parents should budget for things like buying bedroom furniture, pushchair, pushchair and such, just like any other parent. Nobody paid my mileage and parking at hospital when I gave birth to my BC, and certainly wouldnt want my AC to feel like I demanded to be paid to go and meet them for introductions.

Some social workers are very "old school" and still talk about settling in allowances and adoption allowances, but really those days are long gone. If you don't want to have to fill your car with petrol to get to the other end of the country, don't seek matches interagency with kids form all over the place and wait for a more local match. If you can't afford to buy a bed or buggy for your child, I would think twice about whether you are really ready to adopt. You don't need to buy brand new or top of the range stuff anyway, the child really won't care how much the pram cost....

I think that financial support can and should be therefore when it is truly needed. But when I have had a couple with 500k savings and no mortgage threatening to go to the ombudsman if their "expenses" were not paid, it leaves a very nasty taste in my mouth (yes, this has happened, i am a social worker too). Demanding "reimbursement" just screams of entitlement and a feeling that the adopters do not really see the child as theirs. Your child will be yours, if you feel you should have compensation just because he or she is adopted, that is a worry.

Maybe because as adopters, we're saving society many hundreds of thousands in fostering fees. And if we're the best family for a child many miles away, you think they should be denied the best family for them because of finances?! And because there are expenses in adoption you don't get with a birth child, and because while birth children can "make do", AC often need specific things they're used to.

Tbh, I think the other argument is that it's pretty rubbish that the LA (corporate parent) can wash their hands financially on placement, even when the child is still a LAC, and you're effectively asked to be foster carers.

Adoption should be about the best family for the child. Not the family that has the most money.

Some social workers are very "old school" and still talk about settling in allowances and adoption allowances, but really those days are long gone.

Funnily enough, I had both and still have an adoption allowance - we didn’t ask for it, it was offered because it came attached to the kids. It recognised the significant support they would need on an ongoing basis. We also got a settling in allowance in recognition of the cost of going from no children to two children well beyond the cot and buggy stage.

We had budgeted to have children, could afford to do the travel and prepare the house etc so it wasn’t essential to the adoption going ahead but has made a huge difference to the choices we’ve been able to make in caring for our children.

Many new parents have help from friends and relatives with a new baby, help buying the pram or cot, folk buy them gifts, hold a baby shower etc. This doesn’t happen in the same way for adoptive parents. Birth parents also don’t have legal fees to pay (in our case seriously expensive), they don’t need repeated assessments, approval panel, matching panel etc and often need to take time off work to do these at times unpaid. They also don’t get 9 months notice that their child will arrive - we had around 6 weeks to get everything in place which was fine but a lot of expense all at once. They may know “a” child will be coming but they done know age or sex or even what they’ll need to buy and what the child already has.

I think you’re being really mean minded here - I didn’t demand to be paid to meet my children for introductions, but the money came in very handy at a stressful time. Not to mention the small fortune the local authority has saved having my kids out of foster care.

If you’re a social worker and really can’t understand that a bit of financial help can ease the way at a very emotional, stressful, anxiety provoking time, I wonder about where your empathy has gone.