Changing childminder - adopted child

[Hitchyhero]

I'm not happy with my childminders for a number of reasons. It's quite large childminders in the sense that they have 3 helpers and so a bigger number of children then usual, which I don't mind.

But I don't get any updates whatsoever. No updates on development. Handover is them saying 'he's been as good as gold'. I get one or two pics a week. My sisters child goes there to and her son is a bit older and she gets info on what they've been doing. I know they watch TV for portions of the day which I don't think is right.

I've seen pictures of other childminders doing tons of activities and trips out and I look at mine and think they do nothing at all. My child is behind on speech (he's 3) and is not speaking much. My only concern pulling him out is he's adopted child and I don't want to just pull him out cutting out relationships he's formed. He does settle to new places quite well but I just don't know what best.

When is your child 4? You could find changing providers difficult given the current pandemic we're in. If they are due to start reception in September you could be looking at 2 lots of changes in a relatively short space of time.

He's 3 at the end of this month

Have you applied for a nursery place for after Easter?

A move, in a pandemic, will be hugely disruptive. Only you know if that will be worth it. But if he's starting school or nursery soon (which he likely is) I would prioritise stability in attachments above anything else. A bit of telly won't harm, huge disruptions and change could. But if there's other stuff (safety etc) or you're delaying his school start, and there's two plus years, then it could be worth moving him.

My adopted son is 10 and my birth child 16. They both have way too much screen time. Pandemic and lockdown and nothing to do making it worse!

I wouldn't change your child's place now.

As far as the updates go -of what he has done at the childminder - I would ask for more updates photos etc .

Looking after multiple children in a pandemic must be hard do I would leave him be for now. There are no guarantees a different child minder would do better in current circumstances.

I went through a very similar predicament with my DS at that age. After a change in management at DS's nursery they went from being very communicative with newsletters, an online learning journal and proper handovers, to almost no information at all. The handovers at the end of the day weren't the staff that had spent the day with him and they didn't know what he had done or how he had been. They also watched TV there which I wasn't too impressed with but there are bigger problems to have, and he seemed happy. With a year and a half left before he started school I thought about getting him in somewhere different after Easter but in the end I moved him in the September to a much better preschool that had weekly newsletters and proper handovers at the end of the day. The staff were great and having his preschool year in that kind of environment really prepared him for starting school. I don't think the transition did him any harm as it was a bit like a practice transition for school. I don't regret moving him at all.

I think it is worth pursuing other options, not necessarily for right now, as others have said moving in a pandemic might not be the best option. It's unlikely that you'll able to go and look around for a start, and you might find that you have to simply drop off on the first day without being allowed in. So I probably wouldn't move him now unless he is unhappy or you have concerns for his safety. I would start putting out feelers for September though, if you haven't already.

Brilliant advice. " ...unless he is unhappy or you have concerns for his safety."

If he were unhappy or unsafe I would move immediately. I agree with the fact you won't be able to look round in a lockdown so better to wait.

My son went to a nursery that never sent photos whereas I had friends with children who had tonnes. I always figured although it was nice to see what they were doing, I’d actual prefer it that staff were playing with or supporting my son than taking photos and uploading them to whatever platform they were using. He was happy going (most of the time!) so I was happy sending him. I did get updates at times on his development but genuinely I wasn’t interested in a tick box assessment anyway.