Have you ever complained about a foster carer?

[Rainallnight]

During my DD’s introductions, I saw some very concerning behaviour from her towards another baby in her care. And what we saw with DD was concerning too.

I feel like I need to make a complaint about her and that it’s been too long already.

Have you ever done this? How did it go? Can you be anonymous?

The tricky thing is that I’d always thought it would be nice for DD to have a sort of distant auntie relationships with her as she grows up - FC really did love her - but that’s not possible if we do this, I think.

Complain. The local authority will have a formal complaints method.

I'm a sw. I've complained about fc in the past. Some complaints have been very serious. I blocked a child from returning to a fc once.

The incident you describe with the high chair is awful but I'm surprised the other children were present during intros. In authorities I've worked in the usually go to respite during the transition.

@lilobilo You are completely right. Thank you for making me aware.

@Rainallnight I am very sorry! I got mixed up. You said nothing about sw.

I think that when weighing up the value of your child potentially having future fc contact versus children being abused by this fc, the balance goes very much towards the children in this fc's care. So I think you should report it.

I have to say that as a fc and adoptor i get a bit fed up of the line that fc are routinely providing substandard care .It is perpetuated by the " languishing in foster care " phrase or " going from placement to placement passed around the care system ". Etc etc.
Foster carers are not working class women who take in children in order to milk them for every penny they can whilst providing as little care as they can get away with. Many are intelligent people with a wealth of experience who go above and beyond.
In my extensive experience social workers are NOT happy to turn a blind eye to poor care. Quite the opposite in fact and I know of fcs who have been removed because of issues. We spend our lives justifying everything we do and are strictly monitired and reviewed every twelve months on top of regular supervision visits.
I know many fc and they all provide a high standard of care and have nothing but the best interests of the children in mind . Of course there are some that fall below the standards and yes bloody well report them because they shouldnt be doing the job and give the rest of us a bad name .
Sorry but it grinds my gears when people generalise about a whole profession .

Couldn’t have said it better myself!

@Ishbam

I have to say that as a fc and adoptor i get a bit fed up of the line that fc are routinely providing substandard care .It is perpetuated by the " languishing in foster care " phrase or " going from placement to placement passed around the care system ". Etc etc. Foster carers are not working class women who take in children in order to milk them for every penny they can whilst providing as little care as they can get away with. Many are intelligent people with a wealth of experience who go above and beyond. In my extensive experience social workers are NOT happy to turn a blind eye to poor care. Quite the opposite in fact and I know of fcs who have been removed because of issues. We spend our lives justifying everything we do and are strictly monitired and reviewed every twelve months on top of regular supervision visits. I know many fc and they all provide a high standard of care and have nothing but the best interests of the children in mind . Of course there are some that fall below the standards and yes bloody well report them because they shouldnt be doing the job and give the rest of us a bad name . Sorry but it grinds my gears when people generalise about a whole profession .

Couldn’t have said it better myself!

me neither ! And please report that FC , theres a baby being treated appallingly according to your post.

I complained (unofficially) about my ds FC....he was out to bed at 4pm with TV on and a gate on his door, once awake at 4.30am he was strapped in a buggy with bottle of milk in front of TV for 2 hours downstairs....he was 3.5 years old and 'spirited'.
One day he during intros he was resisting putting his shoes on and was told by fc , hurry up or mummy will go without you 😬.

I complained once he moved in with us, no idea what happened with FC, but I went on to adopt again with no problems.

@justanotherkid that’s appalling. Your poor boy x

As a foster carer I’m sometimes horrified by what I hear from some other foster carers. Some are lovely and they all do want to do what is best for a child but sometimes, in a minority of cases, their best is not good enough. In my area, for reasons that seem inexplicable to me when there are so many carers who would love to have a baby to care for, the same foster carer can end up with three or four babies at one time. I was once on a course with one such carer and she was proudly saying how she had them all in a routine - they were basically all left to cry and soon realised no one would come so yes, did stop crying at night, but I felt that was so sad. It cannot be in the best interests of these neglected, traumatised babies to be with 2 or 3 other infants all needing round the clock care. They should have a carer who has time to give them 1:1 care.

A foster carer friend once had two children placed with her aged 2 and 4. She was their fifth carer in about as many months. Four others had said they were too challenging and handed them back. They were just little children! No major behavioural issues, just general 2 and 4 year old tantrums and tears but some carers seem to have very high expectations of behaviour from very young kids. I found that very sad.