Adoption and birth sibling contact

[Kmav72]

Mumsnet

Hi all,
Does anyone here happen to have a child who has contact with adopted sibling from other parent, in my situation my child and his sibling share the same birth dad. (Different mother).
My child has no contact with birth dad or any of birth dads family, neither have met my child, as far as I’m aware apart from letterbox contact none of the family have contact with the adopted child. (I don’t know the reasoning behind the siblings contact).
However, I have made a interest this week for letterbox contact for my child and the adopted sibling. I’m just wondering if birth parents need to know this, or need to approve this (although loosing their rights, I ain’t sure if they have to agree or know or confirm relationship with my child).
I’m not wanting any of my families information to be handed over to birth dads family but as nobody has any information on this I’m unsure.

How would contact happen to work in this situation? Both children are only 2 and 3 so very young to have their own opinion and decision in this. Does anyone have a similar situation to go on to advice me what could happen, or if adoptive parents decided to decline what would be reasoning behind this?

I’m currently waiting on the letterbox coordinator to make some enquiries to establish contact, I haven’t had a update yet to go on to ask questions on how this works.
Thank you in advance

My son has contact with one of his siblings, they have the same BM, different dad's, and both adopted. We started with letterbox but now we're doing direct contact although they haven't met yet. Birth parents don't know and I don't think they need to, they have no legal parental rights for either child at this point.

Hope this helps, it was easy to set up.

Thank you. That was my main concern, birth parents finding out.
My child is my biological child, I haven’t heard of direct contact with half siblings/siblings unless both being adopted

Birth family do not need to know there is contact. You are the legal parents of your child and make whatever arrangements you feel right for your child. If both parties (siblings parents and you) agree it is a good idea then this can go ahead.

We have direct contact with our children’s sibling (BM is the common factor) regularly. It was to be twice a year but as we are very close to the other family this usually happens every couple of months. It is very beneficial for our children. All three are between 3&6, as yet I don’t think any of them understand the significance of their relationship, but they have an incredible bond when together. They all regularly choose to pray for the other in their prayers at night. We would not be without this contact.

If the other adopters agree start with letterbox and then in time if you think it is appropriate you can build towards direct. The one thing I would stress is to agree to be open and honest with each other at the outset. If in time it proves not to be right for either child, take it personally if at some point one party has to withdraw for a while. It should always be about the needs of the children and not the adults.

Thank you, that is lovely to hear that works for you.
I’m still waiting on hearing back any update.

My son and his half sister never knew each other before her adoption as she was as adopted as a baby, I have only recently found out and thought a few months before looking into this.
I can see benefits for both children as none of them have any contact with birth dad at all and their only connection would be each other. This is all new to me and I’ve only been able to find stories on direct contact being made with adopted children on both sides, my son being biologically mine and the sister being adopted and only sharing birth dad, I thought only letterbox would be offered.

My priority is my child knowing his sister in anyway shape of form as I believe this is easier to accept as children rather than adults, so any sort of contact would be appreciated. There is also a lot of information medically I believe the AP would really need to be aware of. If contact was denied, for any reason at all, including letterbox would there be any sort of way to leave a letter with information for the future for both children to be able to make connections?

OP what do you mean when you say your biological child but refer to his birth parents?

My son is biologically mine, he has no contact with birth dad who is adopted half siblings birth dad also.

Sorry I should of been more clear on the last comment

I understand your situation now. We all assumed you adopted him. If the adopted parents do not agree to letterbox you can request that you write a letter for her in the future (probably if she requests her file when he is 18 or older) or if she gets therapeutic lifestory work when she is older, probably in her teens such a letter may be useful. It would keep a way of communication open should she wish it in the future. Social services should accept this and hold it on file for her.

Just a thought is your son’s birth father named on the birth certificate? Does he still technically hold some PR for him? This will not make a difference to you putting a letter in the file for the adopted sibling when they are older but it may make a difference if trying to establish letterbox contact. I really don’t know but it has just occurred to me. If he shows up at some point wanting to re-establish some contact or relationship with your son this may impact contact and may bear influence on whether it happens or not from the outset.

Thank you, that’s really helpful information. I was unsure what could be done. I accept the parents wishes regardless, however I would regret not making any sort of attempt for my son later on, I don’t think the adoptive family are aware there’s another sibling (as there is one older with birth mother, again different mother to the adopted child).
Birth dad isn’t on my sons birth certificate, however I do have DNA proof which dad requested as a excuse of not wanting contact. 3 years later still no contact from dad, or the family, this is why I feel for both my son and his half sister contact would be beneficial as neither of them have any other birth family