We adopted our child almost two years ago at 9 months old and we currently have mailbox contact twice a year with BM and BF. We were very clear when creating the mailbox agreement that there’d be no sharing of cards/gifts/photographs with the exception of a single picture which we gave them at the one off 1:1 meeting (which they failed to attend). Physically, our child has changed significantly since this particular photo was taken and is literally unrecognisable - this is the way wish it to stay.
Both birth parents have separately requested recent photos in their last letters. How on earth do we tell them that we don’t feel comfortable sharing photographs? We don’t want to hurt their feelings, make the situation any worse for them or jeopardise the good relationship we seem to be forging, but it’s simply non-negotiable. We briefly considered sending a non identifiable snap (e.g. wearing sunglasses and a hat/from a distance/from behind) but we decided that it wouldn’t be appropriate and we were conscious that they might keep coming back for more.
We could ask the mailbox team to remind them again of our agreement but we feel like we owe them the decency of sympathetically addressing the issue in our next letters.
Has anyone else experienced something similar and if so, how did you approach it?
Thanks in advance x
Birth Parents requesting recent photos
soundofstars · 06/01/2021 22:03
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