I just feel like a really bad mum :(

[Misspollyhadadolly92]

I just need to write this down.
Every night I goto bed and feel I have let my son down. He is 6, been with us 5 years. We love him so much, he can have problems regulating his emotions, but with professional support this has improved. I know with Christmas things are more difficult, but I am so bloody patient and I feel like he is taking advantage of it. We are parenting therapeutically, but I've just had enough the last few days. He just ignores me constantly, I'm like white noise. So I've ended up shouting/raising my voice to be heard. I feel terrible for it. Just so bloody lost and feel like I'm sinking. We got a puppy a couple of weeks ago as he/we have wanted a dog for so long, its been a terrible decision as he is teasing the puppy and I just know it will end badly if he continues to aggravate it. I've shown him pictures of children with scars from dogs to try and get him to see.
Thanks for reading. Ffs :(

Misspollyhadadolly we had Theraplay, a special sort of play therapy when ds was about 5-6. It really helped a lot.

"What do you all do to make yourselves feel human and good? Alcohol gives me a heavy head unfortunately! "

I don't drink much and not really a fan of booze.

I love a nice cup of tea!

My fav things are talking to friends, Covid permitting, walks with friends and the dog, occasional meals out. Or just a posh coffee.

I know people who write journals, or short stories.

Just find the thing that makes you feel good.

Hot bubble baths are another favourite for me

I’m someone who journals, a nice book, handwritten and everything goes in there. It can be very therapeutic just to get everything out unfiltered and I can then work through things more easily.

A good book and a cup of tea, or an absorbing movie hell as does getting fresh air on my own. Music while I’m cleaning helps a lot and makes me feel like me again. I’ve also recently started buying nice shower gel, moisturiser etc because they’re things I use daily and I feel better using nicer products. I also buy nice wine - I don’t drink a lot but a glass of good wine helps when I’ve had one of those days.

We also have a bit of an easy night on a Friday, pizza and movies so we can all unwind - the kids expect it now and it’s no fuss relaxation at the end of the week.

Most of all though having an attitude of kindness to yourself, not berating yourself if you think you’ve got something wrong and knowing you’re doing your best is so important to your mental health. Simply put if you wouldn’t say it to someone else in your shoes don’t say it to yourself.

sassygromit love the link, it's really good.

Jellycatspyjamas great advice as always.

Whoever mentioned 'How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk.' It is fab. I am dyslexic and it is one of the few books I have read!

Yes nice smelling toiletries and good wine occasionally beats lots of cheap stuff! Model 'you"re worth it' to the kids.

Model 'you"re worth it' to the kids.

From experience, also practice your “oh that’s a lovely bath you’re going to have” face for when your child tips half a bottle of Molton Brown into their bath because they really wanted to smell like you 🤦‍♀️

Yes, ds loves my bubble bath!

Ed psych was involved, but its to no avail as there are no issues in school OP as i understand it an Edpscyh provides holistic input and so what is happening at home is relevant, and will also be aware that many kids hold it together at school and fall apart at home. Can you talk to them again about what is happening at home after school, as they should be able to provide strategies for at home and also strategies to help your dc cope with school rather than just hold it together?