What was your favourite gift?

[2021ComeAtMe]

Hope I'm ok asking this here it's looking likely that our wonderful friends will be bringing a son home in February, we're thrilled for them! He'll be about 15 months.

The FC has said that he'll have lots of clothes/toys to bring with him, so I'm going to wait and see what he may need before I buy anything for him. However, we'd still like to give our friends a gift, and a card, to mark the occasion.

Is there anything you received that you would recommend?

My sister sent flowers, because that’s what you buy new mums - which I loved. My workplace gave us a family photo shoot session which was excellent, our first professional photographs as a family, tbh I also really valued folk who sent food in those early days because we were so busy it was good not to think about needing to cook.

Special editions of children's classics - Paddington, Thomas the Tank etc the sort of thing you keep to pass down to the next generation - still should be lots of stuff around in Waterstones
I really loved my Its a Boy ! balloons as well

Yes if a real keeper classic book you can write inside with a special message! Books like Nancy Tilman are beautiful! And yes helium balloon is very loved by little ones! Or even an early learning centre voucher or something so they could choose something they would like when they see what they already have? xxx

Some great ideas there, thank you so much! Especially the 'it's a boy' balloon which I wouldn't have thought but will definitely get

I would buy a gift for the parents, and I think you're right to wait to see what the baby needs. It can be overwhelming with "stuff" to sort from foster care, or there can be, sadly, nothing but a broken toy and stained clothes. A voucher could be nice.

We really appreciated the few "new baby" cards, lovely for the kids' memory boxes, and sadly the birth child has so many more, because people didn't think. And chocolate. Lots of chocolate. Maybe a chocolate subscription?!

(I'm awaiting a certain poster to tell me I'm putting them on a slippery slope to obesity!)

Oh, I would have loved an "it's a boy" balloon.

You can get special adaptations of the baby's first year books for adoptive families. I bought them, with good intentions. Luckily, I'm equally shit at completing them for all children, so no one gets a complex. (Too busy drinking alcohol, eating chocolate and posting on Mumsnet)

Books, books, books! For my first, each of my friends got him a childrens classic and wrote a message to him inside it. They're fantastic. He's a BC. We didn't get masses for our AC which is a bit sad but I blame the pandemic more than people not thinking because we couldn't see anyone. It was very nice to have a bunch of flowers and chocolate delivered one day though.

I agree with flowers and food. I received flowers also because 'that's what you give new mums' and that acknowledgement meant so much. And another friend filled up my freezer with home cooked meals.

My son arrived with so much stuff (toys, clothes etc.) - I can't even begin to describe, but no books. So I'd also second the nice keepsake books, but board books that baby could hold, dribble on and break also went down well with me.

One of my favourite gifts was a vase. It sounds a bit random but it housed some flowers other people bought and every time I use it, I’m reminded of our child’s arrival. I think it was actually the only present that was for us rather than DC.

Another idea is vouchers for somewhere on Deliveroo - they’ll be so exhausted to begin with that the opportunity for a takeaway will be a Godsend.

OP you sound like a lovely friend!

@percypetulant (I'm awaiting a certain poster to tell me I'm putting them on a slippery slope to obesity!) ha! though you missed the irony in your comment...

@calmandhappy again, focusing on the OP, what was your favourite gift when your adopted children came home?

I’m not a parent of an adopted child but bought this for my friends who adopted a little one. You can personalise it with the child’s name and put a dedication in the front.
www.wonderbly.com/uk/pages/lost-my-name-world-books-page-1?gclid=Cj0KCQiAoab_BRCxARIsANMx4S7DCjJfohFOGSqs6w-oCE4R3YfFvkt0gmgFQk5wR-lTI-Ihmj7_qPUaAnTtEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

That sounds lovely, but before personalising anything, be sure that the child will be keeping that name. One of mine had a name that changed due to various reasons, but later on, and so personalised stuff with the old name is now put away, or looked at with "but that's not my name". (Oh, no! PLEASE don't derail this into a name change thread!)

Sorry, yes of course. My friends knew they weren’t changing their little one’s name so it was ok in this instance but totally understand that might not be the case in others.

Due to the circumstances, our friends (and us!) did not expect the name change.

Names and adoption can be a tetchy area (praying to all the gods of the adoption board that this doesn't become a name change thread), and we really appreciated personalised gifts later, after the celebration hearing (when the new name is made legal. Which often is the same as the old name.)

So, I would say, really lovely thought- but hold it for the celebration hearing. A kid can't have too many special days with presents!

In the early days, I really would recommend what OP plans, and do gifts for the parents, or "what you give new parents"- it will mean a lot.

Ok so flowers/takeaway voucher/balloon/books, all great ideas thank you

I believe that he'll be keeping his first and middle name, and that his surname will be changed to my friends'. But thanks to the helpful comments here I'll avoid anything personalised until we know that's what will be definitely happening!

An "our family" photo album perhaps, but also remind her you will be there as a listening ear through good and bad, it won't be plain sailing and they will need good friends

What about something for the parents?

I completely said goodbye to my sanity in the first six months, it could be something as simple as a voucher for justeat etc.

My mum got us a mummy and daddy mug which was lovely ☺️ we waited a long time to be mummy and daddy

We got a colleague a family pass for the local zoo when he adopted 2 siblings. They loved it.

For us it was a handmade blanket for our LO given to us by a lady I cared for and sadly she has since passed away. The personalised things always meant the most. For our first Christmas together my parents got me wooden statue with a mother and her child and it’s actually got me crying just thinking about it.

@SimonJT yep flowers and takeaway voucher are on my list 👍🏻

@Notthisnotthat a voucher for somewhere had crossed my mind but I'm concerned they won't get much use out of it due to COVID, who knows what next year will bring 🤷‍♀️

@PaintedLadyWBB ah an ornament! My DS got me a willow ornament when I was pregnant and I loved it, I'll look for something like that I think

Thank you all - I'm taking on board everything you say!

Our friends gave us a voucher to go to a pottery painting place and have casts of our sons made. He was 3 and we probably wouldn’t have got round to doing it had they not paid for it as he wasn’t a baby as such. It’s so precious to us though and an amazing reminder of how small he once was!

@2021ComeAtMe, you sound like a lovely friend. From a pragmatic point of view, I’d really recommend a gift voucher for a store like John Lewis, as although the little one may be arriving with ‘lots’ of clothes and toys, they may not actually fit, or be weather appropriate or even to the tastes of your friends (praying to the gods of adoption that this doesn’t precipitate an earnest discussion about the need to keep your kid clothed in George at Asda if you’re a Versace/Gucci/Louis Vuitton-type of family).

Once your friends start to get to know their little one, and discover their individual likes and dislikes, they will become more confident about buying things they and their child actually need and want.

(Dons hard hat here, to recommend a bottle of their favourite tipple for your friends, plus the flowers and chocolates mentioned above). Oh and a beautiful notebook for them to record a ‘diary’ for their child, marking all their milestones and the funny words they say as their speech develops.

Having said that, the best gift I ever received was a Klean Kanteen coffee cup for the interminable trips to the park, regardless of the weather!

We were given a photo frame with the date we met our little one for the first time and a phrase about us becoming a family. Love it because we celebrate this date every year.