Stage 1 ex partner reference

[Fingerscrossed12]

Hello, does anyone know what ex partners are asked as part of stage 1 assessments? We are currently going through the reference stage and have great references bar an ex partner who I don’t think will be complimentary. I’m worried this may scupper our chances :( any advice on this is great! Thank you

Hi,

Mine was a few years ago, but they didn't contact my ex husband and I know that that agency haven't changed their policy. The first agency I tried were planning to because it was of course a significant relationship (though that's not the reason I changed agency). The reasoning my eventual agency gave for not contacting him was that we didn't parent together, and because my referees all knew me before, during and after my marriage.

I think SWs are realistic about how former partners may feel about each other so I wouldn't worry too much, especially if you can reflect on your life experiences well with your SW. I expect this is really common.

Good luck!

Thank you, they’ve definitely been contacted & I do understand why. I’m just keeping the faith that the whole picture (of us both ) is looked at & not just one part. It means a lot to us & im eager to hear from our SW on it.

I think it will be, don't worry!

There’s lots of acronyms I don’t get on the site. What is DH? X

And DS & OS & MIL & LO etc haha you can tell I’m new to this xx

I think (!)
DH Darling husband
MIL mother in law
LO Little One?
OS No idea!

I think there's a mumsnet glossary on the site somewhere!

That’s SO helpful!! Thank you x

DS Darling son I think

They contacted my ex g/f reference wasn't complimentary but I was still approved. So I wouldn't worry too much. They didn't tell me what she said just that it wasn't complimentary. I'm guessing they kind of expect that from ex's and if your other references are good then that counts more.

I am sure they will take ex partner references with a pinch of salt.

www.mumsnet.com/info/acronyms

d stands for darling/dear

EG DS - darling/dear son

But in the special needs are might also stand for...

DS

Down's syndrome

I didn't know what OS means, I wonder if they meant OH (Other half) or SO (significant other), the latter is not on the Mumsnet list but people might use it.

Good luck.

@HIPPYCHICK74 that’s reassuring! Thank you - all good to know x

@Italiangreyhound yeah the more I’ve read the more I realise the ex partner check is a small part in the whole jigsaw x

Thanks, the acronyms had me stumped at first but that’s really helpful.

First day of assessment training today so I feel we are really getting started x

Good luck with your first day of training :)

Good luck, hope it goes well.

Keep going. Ex's are ex's for a reason we need to remember this . Good luck.

Thanks all!
Training went well - intense but SO informative & such a nice group x