Good thing I used to be a project manager!

[UnderTheNameofSanders]

Currently coordinating with

• post adoption support
• private psychiatrist
• GP
• school pastoral care
• school education contact
• counsellor
• English tutor
• science tutor

Plus

• counsellor for me
• shielding parents I last saw in August

No wonder I'm exhausted.

Ah. That feels better.

I call a day is a success if we are all dressed............ you’re doing much more so you are definitely winning 100%!!!!

I'm not sure just being up and dressed counts as success when you have a DC in their GCSE year.

So how is your dd? Is there light at the end of the tunnel?

Have you had good advice? Are you coordinating work at home or has she been able to go in?

Only work happening is English tutoring. Things are picking up since we saw the private psychiatrist and got decent meds, so hoping to get back to education at home in Jan. Have agreed plan for very reduced set of GCSEs, but with no work done since April it's a big ask at this point.

What I wish is that people would stop recommending me books! It just seems like more work. Everyone recommends different ones, and I can't even go somewhere and see them all to decide which looks useful.

Then because I'm coordinating things there's tradeoffs. e.g. A day time tutor is better now, but won't work if ever gets back into school, and then school has a 2 week timetable, so something that might work one week due to dropped subjects doesn't work the next...

Then there is working out what counselling might be helpful. Short term v long term issues. What can wait until the summer etc. etc.

I'm exhausted just thinking about it. Let alone doing it.

Oh God, the books/reading/resources. "Of course we'll offer support!" Great! I think. Then "support" is in fact just more fucking work, reading resources, attending courses, etc. Believe me, I'm trying my best, but I wish "support" felt supportive, and wasn't just a long list of tasks to add on to my day!

percy Thank you! I'm glad it's not just me.

I sometimes just want someone else to actually coordinate, and leave me to the day to day parenting.

And for someone to say do x, y, and z and it will work; not read 18 books and try to find the 1 gem in them that will help DD make progress.

Mytutor if you’re not already using them are pretty good for arranging tutors - would work when/if your child is back at school, but also now as it’s university students who have lots of time on their hands.

If your child is in y11 you should take success as being up and dressed - this is a success given everything a typical year 11 is going through currently. I say this to my year 11 group at school.

They have been given such a shit show by this government and the goal posts are changing all the time. Adopted children will be suffering more Id imagine than the children I work with.

In January you will find out the topics they need to revise for the exams. Also we won’t know what that will look like.

Also I wouldn’t bother trying to find out the changes from an educational professional - go to bbc news as apparently that’s the best place for any news on the courses to take place..........!!!!

Also find out exactly what the requirements are for the GCSE course. Many heads of department I know don’t know the changes themselves - if you google ofqual changes to the courses 2020 it will tell you....

Believe me - a year 11 student doing anything right now is a success!

What, you aren't reading all the 18 books in a night to find the gem?!

What does your dd say about it all, what would she like to achieve and work towards, and has she any crystallised ideas about what she wants from her future?

Is writing off the year and treating next year as the GCSE year at all feasible?

(What are the books being recommended?!)

special The details of the education aren't an issue really, if I can get DD to be well enough to access stuff. Also have as many tutors in hand as needed right now.

DD's mental health was wobbly a year ago, and the pandemic just completely collapsed her. Things are now very slowly getting better, but we need the pandemic to go away really.

We wouldn't want to redo the year. She knows what she wants to do next and we would rather just drop another level on the college course. If push comes to shove could go in at level 1 (was set to qualify for level 3 course but had decided anyway to start at level 2, which new plan still permits).

All books are about managing anxiety. From books aimed at children / teens, to books aimed at adults, celebrity books, workbooks etc.

If she is happy to drop levels as she will in the end still achieve the same outcome then that sounds like a really good plan. I hope that things pick up for everyone in the NY.

I imagine just thinking about all those books to read on anxiety are enough to make anyone anxious!

just

I think we could open a library with the books we've bought over the years which have been recommended. Same with sensory toys, wobble cushions, therapy putty, gym balls, balance boards and God knows what else! Every so often I have a clear out of books/stuff which we have spent a fortune on as "this will really help" and it doesn't and I can't bear to look at it all!