Transitioning from foster care to adoptive placement - young child

[estornudar]

Hi all. Any tips for reading material (or tips in general) about transitioning a young child (under 1) from a foster placement (where they have been since birth) to their adoptive placement?

Feeling the need to read up a little as we have a potential match and it seems like ages since we did the prep course and reading!

No advice on books at all but try keep routines the same that little one is used to and change it slowly if you need to change it. Little things like placement of their bed or cot, try match position such as if it was against a wall, can make a huge difference. Even as adults being in a different bed in a different position can feel strange so think how it would feel for the little one. All the best with your matching xx

Switching to the same washing powder as the FC is something practical you could do, especially for their bedding. As has been said about routines, keeping to the same brand of food stuffs, even if it's not as healthy as you would like, can provide some comfort for a LO. And get as much sleep as you can...when DD2 came home, she would be up in the night sobbing for a few hours each night and then up for the day by 5. Nightmare 🥱

It's a really intense period and there's so much to take in re. routines etc. so take a note book so you can write things down. Follow the foster carer's lead and use it as a time to learn as much as you can.

My one regret was not taking photos. I have some of DS from day 1 but just of him on his own. The social worker took some group photos but she left her job soon after and we haven't managed to get the photos so I wish I'd taken more ownership of that.

Try to establish early on what is coming with the baby. If it's a lot you will want to bring it over a few days and try to get everything you can moved to yours before the last day so that on the last day you are just picking up the baby. I was so lucky that the foster carer really thought of everything in terms of nappies, creams, bath products, bottles, formula etc. etc. and loaded me up with everything I needed, but if you need to buy these things you'll want to get them before baby moves to you and you'll want them to be as close as possible to what the foster carer has.

Hi estornudar,

These are some of the following that I found helpful:

*Tomy Forget Me Not Photo album where you can record your voice in a message. There is also a butterfly one as well but I'm not sure what make.

*If you bought a Teddy and took pictures of it in each room of your house it's a good way for the FC and yourself during introductions to introduce their forever home to your little one. If you put it in a talking album you can create a 'Where's Wally' type game. You could have the Teddy waiting for them in their room

*Try to use the same washing powder, toiletries (bubble bath etc) and do get the same nappy brand.

*Lionheart have snuggle blankets where you sleep with them for a week or so, so that your body scent/smell can absorb into it. During your last meeting with FC before introductions give it to them so that your child can sleep with it. Buy about four and then you can put one in their new cot and have some spares. Do sleep with the Teddy as well.

*Ask FC if you can have a photo of the room they are sleeping in and try and replica visual things like a mobile, rug or obvious toys and books.

Good luck ❤️

Unfortunately the only way to get hold of any of the talking photo albums is to scour the second hand sites as they are no longer made.

We did a photo pillow that could go in the LOs cot - our social workers loved it. I got it from boots at the time but sure other places do them. We are about to adopt again so thinking of doing one with all of us on!

The forget me not book hasn’t been made for ages and our social workers kept telling us to get it. We did find one that could record voices but as soon as you pressed it twice the voices would be recorded over so it was pretty useless. I wouldn’t bother as it was pretty difficult to get!!

I would suggest doing a video that the foster carer can play to them on their phones?? Just with faces and voices.

Our foster carers got a cuddly toy and sprayed it with their perfume to put in our LOs cot too....

I have a spare butterfly, somewhere.

If I find it, I'll PM you. (You can get it delivered to a friend or work if you're worried about security.)

Before we met our Little One the Foster parents put pictures of us around the house and refered to the pictures as mum and dad.

We created a video in each room of the house and had the same Teddy in each room. Teddy in bed, Teddy watching tv etc. Think a really cheesy real estate type video. It was so they got used to our voices and accent.

We slept with that teddy so it picked up our smell. This was then given to our little one in advance of the introductions. and the rooms.

Not sure if this all helped as our little one was just over 1. But the transition was smooth and it was fun to do.

We made a photobook very much in the format of a baby book with a big picture and a simple sentence on each page. We made 2 copies so the he has a copy which is his and a copy which is put away.

We also had a teddy that we kept in our bed for about 3 weeks so it smelled of us which went to him a few days before we met.

Agree with PP about switching washing powder so that things smelled familiar.

It’s important to keep routines but also don’t be afraid of changing if something feels really unnatural to you.

Thanks all! I really appreciate the tips!